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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Clingy 5 month old

11 replies

MumtoMartha · 14/04/2008 13:41

Our daugher is 5 months old and for the past month or so she will not be held by anyone other than Mummy or Daddy.
Even if we are holding her and some one dares to say hello to her, she screams!
She will not let Daddy give her bedtime bottle, again she screams, which leaves it to being my job every day.

It does also restrict me as I feel I cannot leave her with anyone, and grandparents are unable to enjoy their granddaughter as they would like to.

Please help.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

seeker · 14/04/2008 13:43

She's still tiny - wait a while. I promise it will get better. But you can't hurry it - sorry,

didsnbump · 14/04/2008 19:52

My HV was telling me today about a bad period babys go through normally from 15-19 weeks where they seem to change and become more clingy.
My 13week old ds has suddenly stopped going to sleep by himself, and wanting to be held all the time, so appears to be going though this stage early.
So maybe your dd is going through the same.

Apparently it will stop!!!!!!!!!!

fairylights · 14/04/2008 19:58

most children will go thru phases like this at different stages, they never go back to that "anyone can take me" stage! its an important part of thei entry into the outside world. My ds has had several phases like this (which drove me nuts) but some really helpful advice from my psychologist friend was to not try and push them to be friendly and go to others, but to respect their fear and be very reassuring. This has definitely worked for me, my ds is often one of the more confident (in a nice way!) kids at playgroups and is interested in people these days, rather than nervous of them - he is 17 mo. You do just have to ride it out tho, sorry! All the best

meep · 14/04/2008 20:04

My dd did this - you have my full sympathy MumtoMartha!
I could be sitting right next to the person that was holding her and she would cry until she was passed back to me. My Mum once had her in meltdown mode in the middle of M&S and it was anything but enjoyable!
But exactly 9 days before she turned 6mo (I remember because it was Christmas day)she sudden;y decided that other people were okay and actually quite fun!
She does still prefer me or DH but she now enjoys nursery and her grandparents with no tears at all.
I would never have believed it woudl get better but it did!

Clydesdaleclopper · 14/04/2008 21:31

There is a fabulous book called "The Wonder Weeks" which tells you when your baby will go through these phases. We've found it a godsend because you know when it's coming and that it will end.

detsy · 23/04/2008 00:02

Oh thank goodness mum to martha i thought it was just my DD that did this!!

She started to "refuse to go to anyone else other than me or daddy at about 4 months and is still the same - she's now 24 weeks. She's perfectly happy smiling, giggling and chatting to people just so long as they don't pick her up!! The person that she is the worst with is my mum - who is obviously devastated.

Like Martha she will cry after about 30 secs in someone elses arms even tho I can be standing right next to her and in her view.

I also find that people "blame" me for this albeit in a joking manner (hmmm yeah right) and say I have created a "spoilt" baby which makes me so so mad

I am worried about it as it is pretty debilitating and even if we do venture out I spend the evening worry that she will just be screaming till she throws up (I'll scweam and scweam and scweam till i'm sick....)

Good to hear that they finally grow out of this from the other mums. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later, lol.

We also have the stage in middle of the night where if dummy falls out or nappy needs changing etc etc then even daddy will not do - which is a nuisance to say the least! Have considered making him a mask

Let me know how it goes - and thanks to all the other posters for the light at the end of the tunnel (sometime soon i hope...!!!)

3littlefrogs · 23/04/2008 00:07

This is absolutely normal. She has worked out the difference between her family and others. It is a very important stage of development and all you can do is be patient and remember she is very small.

It used to be called "making strange".

She will gradually work out that grandparents are also family - depending on how frequently she sees them, and provided they are patient and give her time to get familiar again.

3littlefrogs · 23/04/2008 00:08

I am surprised that the grandparents don't remember this phase TBH.

Sunflower100 · 23/04/2008 08:43

Do grandparents ever remember anything helpful like that?!!! Ours certainly seem to have a very rose tinted memory (thus I frequently felt inadequate until realised that it was impossible that everyhing could have gone as wll as they remember (mil especially!!!!) Tee Hee

Think its pretty common and all babies I know who have done this have turned out happy independent little toddlers

Copingquietly · 23/04/2008 08:48

my son is 5 months old.ihaven't heard of this before. he hasnt done anything like this yet, but i will watch and wait.

geekymummy · 23/04/2008 10:25

My DD was just like that at 5 months or so! Don't worry, it'll pass

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