3 year old hurting baby

[HappySunnyDays90]

My 3.5 year old son constantly hurts his 13 month old sister. She can be sat playing by herself and he will walk over and hit or kick her. Hel walk past her and push her over. I understand toddlers can get frustrated but he hurts her unprovoked. We’ve tried time out, taking toys from him, reward charts for good behaviour but are now at a point where we keep them separated as much as possible. If you’ve experienced this what did you do to help? TIA

Does he do this with anyone else, or only his sister? Later, when everyone is calm, if you ask him why he did it, can he say anything? Or perhaps ask what he was feeling when he did it. It might help to do a little 'I wonder if you were feeling...' [angry, frustrated, bored, whatever you think it might be].

In terms of managing it, when they are together, I would try a two-pronged approach. Firstly, if he hurts her, move him away from her with an absolute minimum of attention, just a very brief 'No hitting, DS' or whatever. Then give her your attention. Secondly, and this is very important, make sure you praise him whenever he does anything even the tiniest bit kind to her. If necessary, praise him for walking past her without touching her. You want it so that hurting her gets minimum attention and being kind to her gets plenty of positive attention.