Help with putting toddler to bed?

[showersandflowers]

Hello. My 2.5 year old still feeds(with me) or cuddles (with dad) to sleep. She's getting quite big now and we're thinking of changing from cot to toddler bed soon.

Any tips on managing the transition? She cries and cries if we don't feed or cuddle her to sleep (a few weeks ago I fed her for two hours before finally having enough. I put her in the cot gently and said good night but she absolutely flipped and screamed and was so upset. I couldn't take it so I went back in and laid her down and held her hand until she fell asleep (another 45 mins)).

We're not adverse to a little crying if necessary (we're well aware that it's going to happen anyway due to change in routine).

Thank you in advance.

I've effectively done a gradual retreat method, where I warn them 'one more minute milkies, then it's sleep time', unlatch and then cuddle/hold hand/rub their bat/sit beside them as suits you and them. I then do a mix of gradually sitting further away and leaving the room briefly 'to go to the loo' or similar until I can just do kiss, cuddle, 'night night, love you' and leave the room (currently at the point of sitting near the bed/occasionally popping out with my second).

I would feed or cuddle her lying down in her new toddler bed so that there's no transfer from your arms to her bed to wake her up and set off the tears and so that at the start, you can time the end of feeding/cuddles for when she's pretty close to asleep already.

With my first, I also gradually reduced the length of the feed and didn't mention it if they didn't until it disappeared.

I personally accept a two steps forward, one step back process with this rather than have a lot of crying at bedtime, so sometimes she asks for one more quick drink from the other (first) side again, or wants another cuddle after she's been lying in bed for a couple of minutes. I roll with that (and also accept steps backwards when they are ill) and it's seemed to work with both of mine, but I also accept that for some children, if you give one extra cuddle it will be endless extra cuddles and you'll be right back in bed with them.