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8 month old baby still cries all the time and won’t sit still

3 replies

Rd03 · 23/07/2024 08:59

Our baby is now 8 months old and ever since she was born it has felt like we have been fire fighting. She was born by emergency c section due to a infection that required a week in neonatal. She then had severe medical grade reflux that required a hospital admission due her choking after feeding because of the reflux. We tried every different prescription milk and ruled out CMPA. She was also prescribed omeprazole and then domperidone. She was then referred to a gastroenterologist and he took her off all medication because they had made no difference to her symptoms. For the first 4 or so months of her life she was very hard to hold because she would thrash her arms and legs about and arch her back. She hated being cuddled and seemed permanently unsettled. It was heart breaking. We eventually got the reflux under control with a lower volume high calorie formula and gaviscon. She can now be held but only if it is over our shoulder and walking around. I am still not able to just cuddle her on the sofa or on the bed because she wriggles around and strains, unable to just relax. She never sits still and won’t sit still on my lap. Baby groups can be hard because I can’t keep her content for any length of time. She wants to stand all the time. I look at other babies and just wish our little girl would want cuddles or sit happily without crying. She moans and cries so often and I just don’t understand why. I play with her and try to keep her entertained but she will still often cry while being played with. She does love her jumperoo and activity car and she is more content when she is playing in these but not for any length of time. She also loves swimming lessons and never cries during these. Grandparents find it hard to hold her because she won’t keep still and wants to be moving all the time.
Throughout our journey people have kept saying, “it will get better when she’s three months”, or “then 6 months”, or it will get better “once she starts solids” or “once she can sit up”, but every time we reach that mile stone, it still feels like everything is still so hard.
She does her a wonderful smile and smiles a lot but goes from smiling to crying within seconds and there is no middle ground, she’s either smiling or crying.

I really worry, what if there is something wrong, and will she be this difficult for ever. I feel really sad that maternity leave has not been enjoyable because it has been emotionally and physically exhausting desperately trying to keep her content. I try to think maybe she is just frustrated with being a baby and it will get easier when she can do more. But I also worry about whether it is just her temperament and she’ll always be discontented and find it hard to sit still and relax.

Does anyone have any experience of a baby like this that can offer any insight in to whether it gets better!

OP posts:
Row23 · 23/07/2024 16:26

I can’t relate to everything you’ve written, but my son did have reflux, though it seemed fairly mild, it just meant he couldn’t be on his stomach and he cried a fair bit.
I can definitely relate to having a baby who doesn’t sit still or likes cuddles. I also used to look at other parents with their babies on their lap at classes, whilst my son was getting angry at not being stood up.
He started walking at 9 months and he really seemed to be happier. Then when he learnt to stand up himself and could then go from sitting to standing and then walking around, he was so much happier. I really think he was frustrated as not being able to move like he wanted.
He’s nearly 1.5 years old now and it’s only in the past few weeks that he’s started to be more affectionate. When we put him down for a nap or bedtime he’ll lean on our shoulder in his version of a hug, and he’ll put his mouth on our face as a sort of kiss. But I never ever thought that would happen.
I say this to give you hope that your daughter might be similar - she may be frustrated as she wants to walk but can’t yet, she may just not enjoy too much affection, but it’ll come in time. Some babies are just really active and love to move - which we’ve found results in a decent nights sleep, so there is a benefit!
Have you spoken to your Health Visitor? I’m sure we saw them at about 9 months, and it would be well worth mentioning to them about your babies moods and how unsettled she is. If not then go to your doctor. If you feel like she’s more unsettled than she should be then it’s worth pursuing a professional to look into it for you.

Kstar7 · 14/08/2024 19:53

Hi op. This is my first message on here, I saw your post which massively resonates.

My DS is 6 months old, we also went through traumatic birth, and he is like your DD - not affectionate at all, does not like being cuddled or held, always squirms and wriggles and wants to be on the floor and will only be held on the shoulder to look around.

He cries a lot as well, and seems to get frustrated quickly and grunts a lot. Like you, my mat leave has been draining and we often need to leave baby groups early due to him not coping well. I'm so worried now a lot about ASD / ADHD.

Sorry I have no advice, just to say you're not alone in this - please feel free to send me a private message if you want to chat, I'm desperate to find some mums who can understand what I'm going through. Also interested in any further updates from you.

Lucygreen1101 · 04/09/2024 21:23

i could have wrote this literally word for word, with the exception of the emergency c-section.

my little girl is 8 months, and this is her. Sounds like a very very similar journey with medical intervention and investigations and treatment.

would love love love it if you’d inbox me, so that we could chat some more and compare notes. Just created an account so that I could reply to you after a Google search ‘my 8 month old won’t sit still’.

xxx

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