Your top ten tips for keeping calm, please

[Smithagain]

I have two girls - 2.5 and 5.5 Up till now, they have been partners in crime and hardly ever argued. Suddenly, they've taken up bickering as a constant pastime. And when they're not fighting, the 2.5 yo is either whining or tantruming. In part, it's the school holidays - almost all our friends have gone away and they are dependent on each other as playmates. Which isn't really working at the moment.

Now, I have strategies for dealing with the behaviour. What I'm looking for is tips on how to stay serene and calm and avoid that build up of frustration inside myself that they pick up on so well. I need a bit of detachment so that I can be a calming influence, not making things worse.

Does that make the remotest sense?!

Can you try and see them as amusing savages? Seems to work when DS is having a tantrum... I only have the one though

It does make perfect sense, but unfortunately I don't really have any tips. My DS is driving me around the bend at the moment so I will read any answers with interest!

I'm also reading with interest some days it washes over me and other I just snap...

Love the "amusing savages" idea! That could work when DD2 is having the screaming heebeejeebies!

Absolutely.
I have so tried.

My one tip to coping is to sing rhymes. Mostly that works for me

Hi

Im a nanny to two similar aged children. I have also worked in behaviour management for over 5.5 years.

Have you tried just walking away? Just to gather your thoughts and calm down (counting to 10?20?) I do this all the time and find the arguing usually fizzles out by the time I go back in anyway. Equally with tantrums.

Just a suggestion, it really depends on nature of arguing and extent. Obviously I wouldn't do this if they were very physical.

HTH

GruffaloSoldier that's a great name! What is behaviour management?

A friend of mine recommends grading any situation from 1 - 100 in terms of stress, with 100 being the worst thing that could happen.
I tried it and everything involving the children bickering etc comes in at well below 20, therefore not worth worrying about! (Don't always remember to do it though...sometimes too stressed!)

Ha ha thanks I'm new here!

The proper name is Applied Behaviour Analysis and the context I use it in at first was in teaching children with autism. It uses the principles of behaviourism in order to modify behaviour and to shape learning. In English it is a bit like supernanny, only more scientific!

Herbal Valerian, Kneipp brand, take the edge off.

sorry , you're probably looking for non-chemical tips but I have none...

This is what the relaxation breathing exercises you learnt at ante-natal classes are for. Didn't help a bit during labour (for me anyway) but really do help me to block them out and kind of start again, when I start to feel my temper rising.

Hang me on the kitchen wall.

Thanks GS, that sounds interesting. Sorry to be nosey! I was wondering if it was for managing the childrens behaviour or the adults!

Imagine you're being watched or filmed - you are usually calmer if there is a 3rd party around

Thats ok, FH (btw, an equally great name!My dh just said it was cool too!)It is very interesting and is used on all sorts of people including adults. So you are sort of right!! (I use it on dh all the time LOL)

Some great responses here - thanks everyone!

So far today I have done a bit of rating things between 1 and 100 - and have stuck "stay calm and carry on" on my fridge. I love that - so British - might even have to shell out for a proper poster!

I also had a lie in and a nap in the afternoon, which REALLY helped. It's amazing how tiredness creeps up on you and undermines your ability to stay calm.