Would you leave your 5 years old all alone for all morning under the pretex you have to go food shopping...

[Ploufplouf]

and taking him would make things difficult ? My Sil did it, he didnt want to come, so he became stroppy resulting in My Sil leaving my nephew behind..for 3 hours playing with the wii..Just a rant, I know nobody in their right mind whowould do that.

Ploufplouf, I am in France and have just had a quick google of family law and so far haven't found anything which states at which age the parents can leave a child alone in the house.

I know that children aged 6 or older can walk home from school alone (so I assume let themselves in their home and be alone) but most parents who can't be there use after-school clubs.

Also, there is very low cost childcare called 'halte garderie' for children aged 3months to 6 years which you can use on a first come first serve basis. You couldn't rely on it if you worked. It is designed for SAHM really. When I was SAHM I used it to go the hairdressers without two under 3 rampaging around.

I would therefore assume a child has to be at least 6 to be left home alone.

You could try posting in living overseas to see if there are any mners in France more clued up on the legal section.

The McCann case did make the news here but it was no way as big a deal as in the UK, presumably because Madeleine is not French. I read about it on MN first.

wow - I can't believe that 6 year olds are allowed to be home alone under French law if that is correct - it seems quite young.

Yes, to me too. I must emphasise I am just assuming that because the teachers do not HAVE to make sure a parent/guardian collects them after that age.

I think 5 is too young. I have left my DD since she was 7 and I think it depends on the child and other circumstances. I think UK parents are generally too over-protective of their children. I also think British children tend to grow up very dependent on their parents. I remember how the British students at my university really stood out from other nationalities in that they were so dependent on their parents. Some could hardly cross a road by themselves tbh.

That's interesting. I find the French students very dependent on their parents. Most study close enough to home to go back every weekend so they take their washing with them and as they can eat at low cost in student canteens in the week, they don't need to cook for themselves either.
They seem to be more financially dependent too. Perhaps because of the high unemployment over here, teenagers are not expected to get a job to have spending money. The idea of charging your child rent if they continue living at home once they have finished studying is pretty alien here whereas fairly commonplace in the UK (amongst the people I know anyway!)

Not a chance!

I am shocked she did it. What if there had been a problem?

I don't think there is any law in the UK about when you can leave a child alone - that doesn't mean that social services would approve of a child of 5 being left for 3 hours.

There is a law MP it would come under 'Child Crulety' which covers scenarios such as putting a child at risk of harm' which this clearly does.

I first left DS (8.5) and DD1 (3) alone for 12 minutes two weeks ago, while I drove my mum to the station and bought her a train ticket. I took DD2 (6 months) in the car.

But does it actually say an age Doublebluff? My point was that just because they don't spell out exactly what you can and can't do, it doesn't mean that they will not prosecute you e.g. for neglect or as you say putting a child at risk.

My mum knew someone who's children burnt down the house whilst she "popped to the shops" they were about that age. They died. Its very serious. At that age they are curious but do not understand consequences properly.

CristinaTheAstonishing what if you'd had a car accident or been stuck in traffic. Leaving a 3 and eight year old while you go somewhere that is a drive away is irresponsible!

I cannot believe how irresponsible some people are anything can happen in a minute let alone 3 hours and leaving an older child at home with a toddler and i don't think 8 plus a few months is old enough to have that kind of responsibilty thrust on to them is NEGLECT.

Cannot believe what I have just read there are so many things wrong with that! For a start in my opinion child under the age of 12 should be left alone in the home unsupervised for any amount of time and to leave a 5 year old playing a computer for 3 hours is completely ridiculous!! Does this woman not watch the news hasn't she heard of Maddie McCann??? Law or no law I would say this is neglect.

Oh, fuck off with your neglect. I was away for 12 minutes which I could have cut short to only 4 if there was any traffic congestion. There wasn't, so i had time to get out of the car at the station and buy a ticket, knowing i could get home well on time. I'm also in a block of flats with 5 other families, one of which knows everything going on at 8 a.m.

LOL at the idea that no child under 12 should be left alone. You ought to read the cotton wool kids thread. here

Your SIL is obviously an idiot, but you already know that and are dealing with it, good for you.

Whoa cristina!
She didn't say neglect, just a bit irresponsible.
Tis different.

sorry
meant goingfor3's post

I'll shut up now

Another poster said neglect re cristina.

Nonsense. Cottonwool kids is neglect.

OP clearly needs to step in though. 3 hours at 5 is appalling.

Oh well, one said irresponsible, the other thought she'd do one better and call it neglect. Both stupid statements, since they don't know me, my children, time of day, location etc etc. I came back and they were watching the same CBeebies programme as when i'd left. DS was v proud I'd let him be in charge.

not a chance - althou mines only 2 at the mo, but not a chance - would drop him off at his nanna's if I really didn't want a fight on my hands that day with shopping.

I think it's very much dependent on the individual child what age, and for how long they are left alone but 5 years old for 3 house? No way! Dangerous and irresponsible.

There's a big difference IME between a 5yo and say an 8 or 9yo. Mine are now 11 and nearly 8, and I do feel it is part of my job to train them to gradually become more independent. (As a university teacher, I am increasingly worried by the lack of everyday survival skills of young students). So I would leave 11yo in house for a couple of hours, in daytime, if she was happy about it (and if her health permitted). I would leave 7yo for maybe 20 minutes, if he was happy with this.

Yes, I could have a heart attack on the way to the COOP- but frankly I could have one in the kitchen quite as easily, and then he wouldn't be any better off.

There is also some difference between countries. In northern Europe (Sweden for instance) it is standard for 6yos to walk alone to school, and a responsible 8-9yo might well be offered the option of coming home with a key if he didn't like the after-school club; I know my nephew had this arrangement.

But 3 hours for a 5yo- no, that feels wrong.

a 5yr old alone for 3 hrs sounds very wrong to me. my ds would freak out if I left him alone in the house for less than a minute!
a 8.5 yr old in charge of the household for 13 minutes seems fine with me though.

for me, it's not about "will they be ok on their own" but more about "can they cope if...." (they feel ill/the house catches fire/they need to eat/they get bored etc etc)I think some 5 year olds would be ok on their own if all ok, but I wouldn't have left mine on the basis that they couldn't have handled anything that distracted them from (e.g.) the wii that was baby-sitting them