15 month old - normal or the start of behavioural problems

[Papergirl1968]

I adopted my DDs at the ages of five and eight so I have limited experience of babies.
Both DDs had major behavioural problems right from when I had them - they were like wild animals. Refusing to listen or do what they were told, aggressive, lying, stealing, excluded numerous times from school, in trouble with the police, drink, drugs, numerous assaults on me and damage to my house.
DD2 had DGD when she was 18. DGD is now 15 months and a new baby is due in December. So DD is a single parent, a very young mum herself and very immature for her age. Both DGD and new baby are on child protection under neglect.
Partly this is because they’ve been homeless and have moved around an awful lot, sleeping on friends’ sofas and DGD spent two months staying with an aunt with DD only seeing her twice a week. Partly it’s because of risky and volatile relationships, drink, drugs, aggression (not with DGD), and incidents like DGD falling off the bed and burning her hand on curling tongs, then not taking her to hospital which led to the police being notified.
They will be moving into their own flat soon but in the meantime I’m watching my DGD, who has always been a very placid, happy baby, now screaming a lot and having tantrums when she doesn’t get her own way.
She does have a good bond with DD, but DD doesn’t watch her closely enough (today DGD fell down the stairs because DD was on her phone) and takes her out for pub food and to shopping malls or to hang out with DD’s friends far too often in my view, rather than to parks and other kiddie-friendly places. There are baby music groups at the local libraries but most start at 10am and DD can’t seem to get out of the house before about 12.
She has the TV on virtually all the time when they’re home and gives her Ribera to drink, which I don’t like but I’m choosing my battles.
I try to help when I can but DD is very clear she’s the mother and she says I sound too harsh when I tell DGD not to do something.
She says the screaming started while DGD was staying with her aunt.
And that’s another issue - that DGD must have formed a bond with her aunt and has now been ripped away from her. Which has been a pattern all her life. She’s never really known a permanent home or a permanent care giver. They’ve lived at my house off and on but it’s always broken down sooner or later because of DD’s behaviour.
So in a nutshell, DGD has had a very unsettled start to life but are these behaviours the start of the terrible twos when everything is a battle or are they the start of behavioural problems?
I’m sorry for the essay.
(Just to clarify, the aunt DGD was staying with is not my other DD, who is anything is even more damaged).

Ribena, that should read!

I didn’t want to read and bolt, OP.
That sounds incredibly hard.

I only have experience of my own at 15 months and can say I distinctly remember that this is when the started protesting. Screaming, kicking, challenging, and lying on the floor crying. I remember them googling ‘what age to tantrums being’.

it’s developmentally appropriate. That said, it sounds like the baby is lacking stability, security and routine. They really crave this as nurture. So it might be having an effect on behaviour. Can you talk to the HV?
I hope your daughter gets the flat, but also support. I hope she understands soon that the baby needs more from her and makes some wise decisions for her baby’s welfare.

Thanks, @Thatcat
That’s reassuring that it’s normal for this age.
She doesn’t have a HV due to being homeless and moving so often, living for weeks or months at a time in other parts of the country or the region. She did initially have support from the Family Nurse Partnership, who work with parents in place of a HV, but that stopped when she moved.
We have another child protection conference this week though and that’s reminded me to ask for it to be reinstated as soon as she gets a permanent address.
DD also has a young persons advisor and someone else who is working with her on parenting, budgeting etc. Plus DGD has a social worker, but DD tends to see them as the enemy.
The one positive thing she has done is kept the baby in the routine her aunt got her into during her two months staying there.