We have two boys aged 5 and 7. Excellent school reports (including behaviour!) and can be really lovely (they mostly always were until the last year or so), but increasingly they are being defiant at home towards me and DH, pushing boundaries, being stroppy and looking for things to do which will get them in trouble - it feels like they are testing us constantly and it is exhausting. When we tell them off they now look at each other and laugh. We have tried what feels like everything- taking things away, reward charts with treats, but they don't seem to work long term. They seem to think they can behave how they want with little concern for the consequences.
It is stressful - we set very clear expectations and boundaries, give lots of rewards and positive praise when earned, but will pull them up and have proper conversations with them about their behaviour when needed. We both work with older children and have no issues at all so this is really frustrating.
Does anyone have any tips or perspective which might help with my sanity?? Is it a phase that's likely to end? We are constantly blaming ourselves and trying to change our response but I just want someone to tell me it won't last forever!