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Where did I go wrong

3 replies

Knickerknack · 10/07/2024 18:31

Three children, five and under. Tears from when I pick them up after school/nursery through to bedtime. Fights. Constant snacking/stealing food til dinner is ready. Winding each other up. Dreadful table etiquette. As soon as I quell one argument another starts. They hit each room like a cyclone, mess everywhere. I wouldn't mind but just feel like a failure. Other families are able to have dinner together, peacefully. There is a sense of calm and order. Any words of advice from those who manage a reasonable evening? I work so collecting earlier is not an option, and there is no-one to help.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
RappersNeedChapstick · 10/07/2024 19:02

I take it you're on your own @Knickerknack? I can't imagine how hard that must be. Have you found the Lone Parents section yet?

Knickerknack · 10/07/2024 19:31

My husband is on the scene but works so much that evenings are effectively a one-woman show at the minute. Just feeling a bit useless with kids screaming. The usual small child angst - serving the dinosaur plate instead of the panda plate. But surely it doesn't need to go on so long or so loudly. Surely it doesn't happen in other houses to this extent

OP posts:
skkyelark · 11/07/2024 11:56

My two often need a 'starter' that can be shoved at them as soon as they've got shoes and coats off, as hungry, tired small children waiting for dinner to be cooked leads to disaster here. When they are only a bit hungry, we try for raw veg so that it doesn't spoil dinner, but other times we have to add in cheese, or peanut butter on crackers, or something like that – still reasonably nutritious, even if it doesn't have the variety of the main meal.

If necessary, I use a bit of screen time to keep the peace whilst they eat their starter and I cook. I figure twenty minutes of chilling with Cbeebies at the end of a busy day is really not the end of the world, and it goes off for the main meal.

I also prioritise fast meals, as otherwise the starter tends to become the meal, plus they get more tired and you still have to manage getting ready for bed afterward. Things like pesto pasta, jacket potatoes, stir fry, burritos/fajitas, pizza on a tortilla/pitta, and various things on toast are quick, or batching cooking or using a slow cooker can help.

On very tired days, stuff that is easy to eat – cheese on toast, pitta pizza, etc. When you're that small, using a fork takes thought and concentration, and sometimes that's just a bridge too far at the end of the day.

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