Sleep and grumpy baby! Two issues - any advice?

[angel1976]

Hi,

DS is 7 weeks tomorrow and I'm really struggling. He's a grumpy little thing. I love him to death but he seems to cry/grumble at every thing. It's not hunger or colic or anything as he is easily pacified immediately by me carrying him but then starts grumbling again. Does it get better? Am I destined for a grumpy baby? He hasn't properly smiled yet. And has little patience for the activity mat / bouncer etc. I know he is still little but I do end up carrying him pretty much all the time. Please tell me it gets better. I need to know that as at the moment, I feel quite in despair at the days stretching out before me trying to entertain a grumpy baby.

Also, he sleeps really easily at night but in the day, I have difficulty putting him down to sleep. He either sleeps on me or when I do manage to get him down to sleep, he doesn't sleep for long and wakes up crying, still tired. I am at a loose end as to what to do, I can't carry him all the time (and he doesn't sleep well on me, he's always stirring so he is better off sleeping NOT on me) but when he does go down for his nap, he doesn't sleep in his amby for long either. He has no problem sleeping in it at night through the night (even when he wakes up for feeds, he goes back down really easily) so what am I doing wrong? Should I worry as he is still so little? I know he is tired as he is always yawning and I wonder if that is connected to the grumpiness in general.

Help, this first-time mum is struggling big time at the moment and suddenly really missing my family thousands of miles away... (And that is bad as I never really miss my family - though I love them and love visiting them - most of the time!)

Ax

Hi ladies,

Thanks for your messages of support...

Meandmyjoe, thanks, I will keep posting. I feel so stupid. I really do. We had difficulty conceiving and a difficult pregnancy and I naively thought that at the end of all that, I will have a happy smiley baby and the reality has been harsh to say the least. NOT because my baby is grumpy but just the whole experience has been so isolating...

Beautiful, did you do the message in a specific manner? I rub some medicinal oil on his tummy now (family thingy!) and he seems to like it but I just put it on and don't massage it. I shall try it! I might consider the teat suggestion, my DS does wail the house down when he is hungry, the other times he is just grizzling... I give him gripe water only once a day and I do notice a difference. Should I be giving it to him more? I forgot to give it to him for a few days and it was like he forgot how to burp! How many times do you give it to your DS?

Thanks again for all your support and help!

Ax

Hi, I didn't do a baby massage course, so I sort of winged it, rubbing his tummy gently in a clockwise circle (a circle about the size of a saucer) around his belly button. He seemed to like it and it didn't arf make him fart immediately. Doing it with your medicinal oil would be ideal, wouldn't it?

The teats made a huge difference. Does he drink slowly? Our DS was falling asleep 1/3 of the way through his bottle which was the giveaway.

Gripe water -- I only give it once a day, two at most. I don't know if there's a maximum.

Is he really crying, or just whingeing? Really crying I always think is either hunger or pain (eg, trapped wind). The whingeing could be tiredness.

Do keep me posted on how you get on. I'm emotionally invested in your baby now.

Hi Beautiful,

When did it change for you? I am just worried DS is forever going to be grumpy!

He doesn't drink slowly, in fact he tries really hard to drink fast but obviously there's a limit to how fast he can drink with a number 1 teat. I have to burp him every oz or oz and a half but I do notice that sometimes he loses interest in drinking if I take him off the bottle too long. But I can't not burp him as otherwise he can end up throwing up the lot!

He's not really crying (unless it's close to his feed time!), he's just whinging... I know he's tired (he yawns a lot!) but I have difficulty getting him down for naps during the day so often he ends up sleeping on me and I end up trying to put him down that way and he wakes up loads so he is still tired. I am determined these two days to get him to sleep in his hammock more though and at the moment, he's napping in it! Email me angelineradley at yahoo dot com as I would love to hear from you!

Ax

P.S. I gave him a mini massage this morning and I also lifted both his legs and press them down close to his face and he farted each time. LOL!

Hi angel, I really do feel for you, it is such a LOT to take on, having a baby around suddenly. I was in shock for a year (actually make that two). I just wanted to say that my ds was a bit early and jaundiced for over twelve weeks, so was very sleepy, hard to feed and grumpy whenever he woke.
I was convinced that he didn't like me at all. He just screwed up his face when I picked him up, very demoralising. Bloomin' baby!
As the others have said, I did use a sling quite a bit around the house, so that I could get things done. I used a wrap sling and had him pretty much stuck to my front. It was quite handy because I could go shopping with him awake and then tuck his arms in when he fell asleep and carry home two shopping bags.
I did still use his pram going out as well, because he would nod off when I pushed it.
I didn't manage, but if you can try to walk everyday, research suggests it reduces risk of pnd.
So the reason I am actually posting is to say that his mood began to improve at around 16 weeks and after six months he became the happiest boy ever and has stayed like that ever since - he is now 3.5.
I hope this helps a bit and I hope mumsnet helps you in the absence of family. I didn't really go to toddler groups much, because I did have a lot of people around when ds was little, but I did go once or twice and strangely we did attend and liked a local toy library, because there were so many things to look at, and it ran for 1.5 hours so you could go for a while and meet some other people. At every group I attended there were children of all ages, from newborn up.
I did do some classes, like signing and singing for babies, but everyone scuttled off at the end, so it wasn't as easy to meet people. There is a baby massage class near me, but it didn't start until DS was at the age where he would trample newborns being massaged, but I think it would have been a nice relaxing, experience for younger baby (and mum).
I want to give you a hug, because I do remember how stressful it was to start. It honestly will pass, so do look forward to a lovely Summer with a smiley baby.

Hi maisiemog,

You have given me hope! DS isn't as bad as some of the babies I hear about... He doesn't really cry that much and is a good baby in that he feeds well and sleeps well at night. It's just when he is awake, I don't quite know what to do with him. 10 mins in the bouncer and he starts grizzling, 10 mins in the cradle and the same happens. So I end up running ragged and in despair that he hates everything! This morning, when it was time for his nap (he was yawning), I just slung him into his hammock and crawled into bed myself... He grizzled a bit but I left him as I was so sleep deprived... TBH, I feel much better after that sleep, my neighbour is coming round to get us so we could spend a couple of hours at their place, which I think will do me good.

I'm also thinking of getting my MIL to come babysit for a few hours so I can go to my work away day on Tues. Not for the whole day but a few hours will make a difference knowing I still have a brain that works and remind me of the happy, confidant person I was. It will also help me let go and get my inlaws and DH more involved. I will also look into more activities around here now I don't feel he is so fragile anymore (I really feel his weight today carrying him!).

Thank you for your message. It really helps. DS is gorgeous regardless. I am feeling a lot more positive and thank you all for helping me through it... I will let you all know if (ever!) and when DS cheers up!

Ax

Ax

That sounds really positive. I'm glad you have a plan, and it will be nice to see your colleagues. Get those relatives round so you have someone to take your DS and you can run around free as a bird for half an hour.

It sounds like you're doing fine. You certainly won't ruin your little one by carrying him all of the time. My DS is 7months and still likes to be carried a lot of the time. He will sleep in his Amby for part of the night but we co sleep for the rest of the night and he sleeps on me during the day. I jusy gave up trying to do everything during the day and accepted that this is how things will be for a while. I just put my feet up with a packet of chocolate biscuits and DS falls asleep on boob and stays there If you really need to get stuff done use a sling. It's much more convenient when you are out and about as pushing a pram can be a bit of a hassle.

With the lonliness I know what you are going through as I have no family anywhere near. I try to make sure that I get out of the house every day and meet up with other people. What about a baby yoga class? Hang on in there - it will get easier.

Thanks all. Went to our ex-neighbours' this whole afternoon. Really lovely couple who used to live across us and now lives down the road. They were lovely. We had a nice lunch. They have 2 kids - 6 and 8 and the older one (a boy) loves the baby. It was so sweet.

Mark is also a wonder with babies. He had my DS the whole afternoon and not a peep out of him. In fact, he seemed so content. He also smiled at them both when we first arrived! That little monkey... I think he's just bored at our house. He was very content the whole time we were there. He's knackered as he has had no sleep so now DH has him in a sling while watching football. Maybe he just needs more stimulation than being at home all day with me! Anyway, I feel much better now not having a grumpy baby the whole afternoon. Just hope it continues onwards and upwards!

That sounds great, keep it up! It's nice when it isn't just you who is the floor show for the baby.

Hi there

Just posted on the "what the hell.." thread but wanted to come on here as well and say that you have my sympathies as my dd (10 weeks) sounds very similar. Very fussy and grizzly and very difficult to get to nap in the day. I've taken to getting her to sleep in a sling on me but even this takes some persuasion! She'll also sleep in the buggy but only if I'm pushing it outside -the screaming begins again if I go into a shop. Thank god for mumsnet as I've been getting really down when surrounded by similar age babies who seem so much happier than my dd- I thought she was the only one who was such a misery!
I know what you mean about the loneliness as well - I've no family here and my dh works pretty long hours. I've lots of friends but they're all working - I have tried meeting with them for lunch but dd ends up having meltdowns and I'm scared to do that now.
Sorry for the rant but just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain!!

Hi Cavs,

We took DS shopping today and he was mostly okay but then got grumpy... And came home and got grumpier, I guess he was overtired so gave him an early bottle and he is now blissfully asleep. He did crack a smile today when DH called him a 'munchkin' so maybe he is finally starting to practise his other facial expressions other than frowning and crying! LOL! But still feeling rundown and knackered and another week looms ahead... Sigh If there is any good news, have noticed these last two days he is getting big. My little boy is growing up fast.

Cavs, I hope it gets better for you soon!

Ax