Anyone else's child who doesn't do anything extra-curricular

[zebra]

All this talk of piano lessons, violin lessons, drama, whatever, is getting me down. DS is 5, DD 3 -- & they don't do anything. Most the other children in DS's reception class do swimming, dance, or some sort of tuition out of school (and it really isn't a posh school, either!).

I tried DD at dance lessons 4 months ago & she wouldn't coooperate. Took DD & DS to trampolening Saturday am for a few weeks in September, but they usually don't want to go nowadays. Am toying with suggesting piano lessons, but am apprehensive. I have this horrible anxiety my kids are falling behind their peer group or we should be trying to encourage them to develop talents, but then they won't cooperate & it's a big effort for us anyway (with a baby to drag along, too).

Does anyone else have a child who doesn't/won't do anything extra-curricular at age 5? Did they get intrested in activities outside school as they go older? Or does it not really matter?

How do you decide, out of all the options, what to try taking them to, anyway?

I think htere is a problme if the leadership is bad, lickily ours in the mum of a 7 year old and a ta at school too. think we have to realse they do it for love not money!
ds1 loves it .

My nieces hated ballet and piano lessons when they were younger. Now they are 9 and 11 between them they do the following: Trumpet, Violin, swimming club, judo, disco dance, salsa dance, football. My sis has become a personal chauffeur!

I think that as they get older it is more important. They will develop their own interests and want to be like their peers.

At a younger age kids are still finding out about the world and developing friendships through school.

Oh I know Coddy! There could be easily be a change in leadership if I volunteered to take it over (the leader claims he wants to retire) ... like not in a million years would I volunteer to do a job like that. Twenty plus 6-8 yr old boys at 6 pmon a school night. NO WAY!

With coddy and iota on swimming, that's a life skill and not an activity. We do that late Saturday afternoons, an inconvenient time-slot for us, but I feel it is vital.
Anything else is too much for a child of five, I think. All the clubs at his school kick off at seven plus and the school has a written policy discouraging too much outside school and limiting in-school clubs to a max of two.

agree, year 2 is the year to start

Ah yes, www, I was there too, with the toast and telly home from school! Sounds like child abuse now, doesn't it? I enjoyed it. Watched Tarot (70s telly prog) and ate Ryvita and cheese while lying on the sofa.
I did ballet on Sat mornings from about seven and got myself there. No chauffeurs in our day either
My ds is three and doesn't yet go to nursery (maybe this month try the odd afternoon/morning, see how it goes) - does some stuff with me, grandma or dh, but no formal classes or anything. Would like to go to a French group with him but there is nothing in our area at a time when he would be receptive.

But it is possible to learn to swim without swimming lessons, isn't it? That's another thing that seems to have changed. I learnt (when I was 4) from regular trips swimming as a family and never had a formal lesson except at school. These days pretty much everyone seems to have special swimming lessons - though my friends with older kids have said that its better to have lessons when they are a bit older, 6 or 7 or so, and have already learnt to swim. Then they can get the most out of learning the strokes properly etc.

elliot - of course it is possible to learn to swim without lessons, but IME the lessons made it easier for ds1.

We have always taken them swimming from babies and my dh is a keen, strong swimmer, but at the age of 4.5 ds1 could swim with armbands (totally deflated) but wouldn't take them off. We booked him in for lessons and by the third lesson he was swimming confidently without armbands.

A year later, he is confident under water and on top, can float, do forward rolls etc and I have no worries about him.

As an added bonus, whilst he is having his lesson, I take ds2 in the pool for a swim and don't have to worry about trying to keep and eye on both of them

ellioytt I agreee re. swimming lessons later - ds1 has gone for years and still c nat really wim "proplery""

woudl leave it tillt heya re stronger
IME only really well built kids canswim a lenght at 5

coddy - my 5.5 yr old is whippet-thin and underweight (between 9th and 25th centile), but is a strong swimmer after a year of lessons - he can easily do a length.

Well-built certainly does not apply to him - unlike his mother (maybe he has fat genes)

After this year's batch of Round Robin letters in which everyone's little darlings seemed to be doing a multitude of activities (all of them excellently, of course!) I was beginning to think that I was bringing up a pair of vegetables in my ds's, aged 6 1/2 and 3 1/2 so this thread is somewhat reassuring.

DS1 goes to football one afternoon a week after school and also does country dancing on one afternoon, mainly because his teacher does it as a free activity and most of his class go. DS does nothing! He does go to pre-school for 2 1/2 hours each morning and still has a nap almost every afternoon so I have mo plans to change that situation for a while.

We are probably lucky in so far as having a swimming pool at the school so everyone gets swimming lessons during summer term and both boys are quite active, mucking about in the garden, going cycling, walking etc at the weekend.

I do go through periods of thinking that they should do more but then realise this would be more to make me feel good rather than because they need to, so am going to resist the temptation. As others have said, they're only young once and I am a firm believer in kids needing to have time just to be kids and play - and use some of the mountain of toys they have been given for Christmas!

elliot - I'd love to take all my children swimming but I'm not allowed to (3 kids aged 6 and under).

No extra-curricular stuff in our household.

I do feel a bit guilty, occasionally...

rudolph, i have 3 under 6 as well but our local pool has decided (long boring story) I can take them all at once.
Have you tried a health club? pricey I know but I was considering it over the summer. david Lloyd certainly let you take three or more and have excellent facs.

If you're aiming for your kids to be world class at something you probably need to start now!

Otherwise 5 is quite young to start anything - and starting at 7 probably won't be a handicap at all. I think it is good to start a second language though as soon as you can - I think this really does make a difference.

The only one of my four to do anything extra-curricular was dd2 who went to ballet from nursery school age. She gave it up when we moved abroad and now refuses point-blank to go again! Now she is 8 she has started at our village youth club and wants to go to Scottish Country Dancing which starts next week. Imo, extra-curricular stuff at such a young age is just a way to get more money out of cash-strapped parents and another guilt thing to beat them with!! Some children will enjoy it at that age, of course, but I don't think it's essential, not even swimming. My sis and one bro learnt to swim in the sea, while my dad and other bro were/are ardent non-swimmers. I believe the stats show that most children who drown are able to swim - they are more likely to take risks than non-swimmers.

posy, I assume you are talking about some sports and other physical skills, mostly? surely there are lots of things you can start later in life and become world class in? cooking, writing, etc.

My two did nothing after school at all till last term, mainly because ds always refused and dd seemed too tired, school and homework was enough, she just needed tea, veg out, bed. Now ds is nearly 10 and does magic one afternoon a week, and dd is 6 and does drama.

We've dropped out of everything after school (Year 3) as dd was getting too tired, apart from art which she loves once a week. DS who is three does football once a week and that is great too. We used to do more, but it was all getting too much. We tried out of school swimming for a year but it failed and she was miserable. She did it for ONE term at school and cracked it - so you just can't tell!!!!

My kids love their acivities. Especially the 5 year old, who currently does gymnastics and tae kwon do. It was me who was asking about piano lessons for her, and she also wants to start playing soccer.

If she didn't want to do these things and felt that school was enough for her, then I wouldn't push it, especially at her age. But she's so enthusiastic right now that I want to make the most of it.

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Havent read all the thread, but Beavers is the starting point of the Scout movement. Boys usually start at between 6 and 6 and a half years of age. My two have been Beavers, one is now a scout and the other a cub. They have on the whole enjoyed it. There have been times when it's not been so great but on the whole it has been worth it and at this stage they want to cntinue.

By the way all you mums whose kids don't do any extra-c activities, don't feel guilty. Kids do too much these days in my opinion anyway. Let them be, if they enjoy being at home, all well and good.

Apart from exercise or whatever children get from extra-curricular activities, I've always thought its good for them to mix with different children than they see every day at school. It seems to give them more confidence socially.