Another nightmare trip as a family

[EvangelicalAboutButteredToast]

Honestly I don’t think I can keep doing this. We live a very small life anyway due to the poor behaviour of my youngest and the chaos that seems to ensue publicly when we try to go out anywhere.

Today we went out together as my partner needed new trainers. Our youngest was moaning and generally being defiant but nothing too awful. I was holding his hand when he suddenly decided to scare a pigeon by kind of jumping towards it. This elderly woman to my right then had a go at him for being cruel and me for not parenting him - even though I’d pulled him away and told him to stop. Then I told her I was capable of parenting my own child, she said I wasn’t, she called my partner an idiot and he then shouted. Everyone turned around and I just fled into a shop.

My son tends to always do something that becomes a catalyst for a public telling off which I/we don’t seem to react well to. He doesn’t have a diagnosis although he may very well have PDA as I’ve written a thread on here before and was told it was likely. I’ve decided in future i need to say absolutely nothing. Anything I say just kicks things into the stratosphere so I need to keep completely quiet. I’m just so tired of it all.

Why are you arguing with strangers? your son seems like normal kid, but you don't need to respond to strangers... why was old woman arguing with you in first place?

God only knows. I definitely don’t want to be arguing with strangers I can assure you.

@EvangelicalAboutButteredToast that woman had no right to question your parenting let alone call your partner an idiot - I mean how rude is that?! Also it's well known that young kids love chasing pigeons (mine do anyway 😅) so I wouldn't say that was cruel on your sons part. They're kids!

Your post seems to suggest this has happened before or happens frequently? Can I ask what other things have triggered this situation?

Parenting is hard, I have quite a challenging 3 year old who never listens or does as he's told so I'm sure people probably judge us too when we're out. What I'm trying to say is you're not alone, I'm sure you're doing a great job at parenting and don't let anyone tell you otherwise x

Another one who thinks it's pretty normal for a three year old to jump at a pigeon and you seem to have dealt with his behaviour quite well be firstly holding his hand and secondly by telling him not to do it again.

I'm not sure that arguing with strangers and your DP shouting at them is an example you want to set though?

Is there a particular reason you argued with her? Are you feeling that you're often criticised about how you parent? Is your DP often verbally aggressive towards people?

My child is nearly nine 🙈. Yes his behaviour invites comment from strangers. I wouldn’t say it’s common but it’s happened more than once and I have bitten back when I should just say nothing.

Does it really take 2 adults to buy a pair of trainers for one of those adults? If you think it's to have nice time together then you are wrong the shops is not on a child's agenda. Take child to park whilst Partner gets trainers and then meet afterwards for a walk?