7 yr old says he wishes he was dead

[myrtlec]

My 7 year old has taken to announcing that he wishes he was dead. He is generally a happy child and has no issues at school or at home so -unless I am really missing something- I can't think he is saying it because he is unhappy. I suspect that it started after an enthusiastic talk about Heaven at school when they talked about Easter- as this was the context it first came up. I suspect my reaction (oh you mustn't say that- i would miss you too much etc) has fuelled subsequent announcements to other people. I don't want to scare him but I want him to understand what he is saying- or maybe I should leave it alone? Any ideas?

you could ask him why?

Perhaps he has heard someone else saying it?

If you're not concerned otherwise, I would ignore.

I will ask him again- the first 2 times it was something specific- wanted to see a relative who had died and last time, to play with a pet dog who had died. Latest (and what made me write) was a concerned mum who told me this morning that he had told her on the school trip that he wished he was dead- she just asked him to think of things he would miss but he wouldn't be put off.

As you say he is so happy in general I think it's just one of those things - he seems in a phase of thinking about death, and it's very common - it's such a huge thing to take in and accept when you're a child, and lots of children think about death alot.

I'd probably do a combination of sincerely saying how awful that would be, and joking him out of it "oh no if you died there I'd have to hoover round you", and just ignoring it!

Apparently it is quite common at this age to become a bit obsessed with death.

My son was 7 last month and he started soon after his Great nan died in December.

Thank you- that helps!

Myrtlec, My DS1 who is 8 did this for about a year off and on when he was 6. He has stopped now but DS2 has started to mention it. He is 6.5. It really used to upset me when DS1 said it and I tried all kinds of tactics to deal with it.

DS has probably said it 3 or 4 times and I more or less ignored it, or said something like 'Oh dear that must be a horrible thing to be thinking about'

I think it is their age in so much as they are becoming more aware of what is going on around them.

It is a development ohase like the one a lot of babies have around 9 months when they realise they are a separate being to mummy.

I agree that its a very normal developmental phase, esp. here in the west where our day to day experience of death is (happily) limited. Its also a VERY good way of getting attention cause of its shock effect on any adults present. If he seems to be generally happy, I wouldn't let it worry you.

My friends grandmother died about a year ago and me and my son were very close to her. I helped take care of her. I didn't get to tell my son she died for at least 3 months after. I didn't think he would take it as hard as he did. He gets sad about it a lot and says I miss her. He's had a few rough spots in life also with me and his dad. He recently about 2 weeks ago saying he wished he was dead and never was born. Should I get professional help for him or wait. He will be 8 in November.