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Original poster

Lack of smiles and autism

8 replies

MumsyAm · 01/07/2024 02:05

Lack of smiles and autism

I’m besides myself with worry. My eldest son is 28 months and is undiagnosed autistic, on waiting list to be seen. He has come on leaps and bounds with his development, good speech, language and understanding but very controlling and demanding. Is a magical little boy but hard work. Lots of meltdowns when things don’t go his way.

I now have a 16 week old son. I’m suspecting already he is also autistic due to…

  1. Not big on smiling. Like trying to get blood out of a stone! Started smiling at 4 and half weeks but has been always hard to get smiles out of, but seems in last two weeks even more so. Used to smile a bit at his reflection and now doesn’t
  2. Confused look/surprised/looks through me
  3. Poor eye contact unless it’s me or on mat
  4. Doesn’t like people coming close
  5. Certain loud sounds makes him cry
  6. Hates bath time
  7. Starting to reach for objects only now
  8. Can clench fists but not always in unison
  9. Can turn to sound but inconsistent
  10. Squint at birth but now nearly non existent
  11. Multiple allergies through breast milk with bloody stool and was under paediatrics for this
  12. Poor feeding unless asleep - comes on and off and arches back
  13. V. Squirmy/fidgety
  14. Poos smell of mothballs! I read somewhere this can be linked
  15. Bigger forehead. Head circumference was above 50th centile at birth and now 91st
  16. Stares at ceiling lights but can get him to look back if I speak with him or get in his eye line
  17. Wants to be held all the time
  18. Seems frightened a lot and just like a rabbit in headlights

Positives

  1. Coos, although this is occasional
  2. Fixes and follows well

I feel emotionally worn out from the first time round. I wouldn’t change my eldest and I have learned to embrace who he is, but I really wanted to experience typical development in my child and not have to worry for their future also.

I’m very very sad currently. Can anyone tell me if their child (autistic or not) didn’t smile to begin with much but is happy now? This is what kept me going with my first son as he was always a giggler!

Thank you for reading this far.

OP posts:
Glueear17 · 01/07/2024 15:31

Mine didn't smile, no expression, no showing of joy as a baby. He didn't make a sound for months and months - he would only cry. Turned out he had glue ear. Once that was sorted he was a whole different baby and is the happiest little boy now at 2 years old. Your baby is still so so small, enjoy him and try not to let the fear set in and stay (it did with me and consumed me) acknowledge it and let it pass :) xx

Original poster
MumsyAm · 01/07/2024 17:12

Thanks, glad to hear your LO doing well now! Did he not smile when you smiled at him either?
I need to try to calm down really but indeed I feel so consumed. I think my experience with my first son has been hard enough and things are still challenging with him, but now I just feel I’ve hit rock bottom with it all xx

OP posts:
Glueear17 · 01/07/2024 20:15

No, he didn't. It wasn't even like he showed another emotion instead of a smile. He literally had an expressionless face. I spent so much time of forums trying to find similar children with similar traits to try and guess how it would all turn out for us and drove myself to the edge. It was the most awful time for me and now I look back, I was probably suffering from pnd. But I stand by what I saw with him and even wrote a list of everything that concerned me back then. I can understand how you are feeling as you have gone through so much already but try not to over analyse his every movement. It is so hard, trust me I know but he really is so little. Things can and do change so much over time. Xx

Original poster
MumsyAm · 01/07/2024 20:16

Thanks for this message. It means a lot to know how others understand the worry xx

OP posts:
Original poster
MumsyAm · 02/07/2024 07:48

Bump

OP posts:
Original poster
MumsyAm · 03/07/2024 12:48

Bump

OP posts:
Rmac93 · 20/12/2024 22:23

Hi all,

i have a 5 soon to be 6 year old and also a 16 month old.

my first born developed pretty fast and is doing so so great in school, makes me so proud.

my baby however, I’m having some concerns.
For the first year of he’s life, I now realise I was unconsciously depressed. I didn’t take him to baby clubs or do much with my friends we pretty much dropped my 5 year old off to school and came home every day. I feel so guilty. I’m now back to work part time and have been taking him to baby clubs. It’s only now I realise that he isn’t responding how the other babies his age respond. He won’t respond to he’s name, he doesn’t have good eye contact he also hasn’t said his first word yet apart from babbling every now and then. I don’t know if I’m just comparing him to my first born too much but this worry has completely consumed me and is knocking me sick.

im worried my son has ASD. Of course I googled the fact he won’t respond, point, talk or look at me and everything is pointing to autism. He sleeps pretty well now. (Not sure if that means anything)

when playing with toys that have wheels he’s spinning them around instead of playing with the actual toy. I sometimes cry at the fact that he won’t look me in the eye and feel like it’s my fault for not putting enough effort into his first year.

he plays peekaboo with me and is now giving me a dolly for me to kiss so I guess he’s in touch with emotion.

recently, I’ve been trying to teach him how to wave hello. He won’t do it alone he’ll only wave if I’m holding he’s hand and he’s basically just waving at me.

not sure what advice to ask for but just need some guidance really.

Rmac93 · 23/12/2024 22:11

Hello,

i have a 5 soon to be 6 year old and also a 16 month old.

my first born developed pretty fast and is doing so so great in school, makes me so proud.

my baby however, I’m having some concerns.
For the first year of he’s life, I now realise I was unconsciously depressed. I didn’t take him to baby clubs or do much with my friends we pretty much dropped my 5 year old off to school and came home every day. I feel so guilty. I’m now back to work part time and have been taking him to baby clubs. It’s only now I realise that he isn’t responding how the other babies his age respond. He won’t respond to he’s name, he doesn’t have good eye contact he also hasn’t said his first word yet apart from babbling every now and then. I don’t know if I’m just comparing him to my first born too much but this worry has completely consumed me and is knocking me sick.

im worried my son has ASD. Of course I googled the fact he won’t respond, point, talk or look at me and everything is pointing to autism. He sleeps pretty well now. (Not sure if that means anything)

when playing with toys that have wheels he’s spinning them around instead of playing with the actual toy. I sometimes cry at the fact that he won’t look me in the eye and feel like it’s my fault for not putting enough effort into his first year.

he plays peekaboo with me and is now giving me a dolly for me to kiss so I guess he’s in touch with emotion.

recently, I’ve been trying to teach him how to wave hello. He won’t do it alone he’ll only wave if I’m holding he’s hand and he’s basically just waving at me.

not sure what advice to ask for but just need some guidance really.

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