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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

help! my baby refuses to sleep in his cot in the day

12 replies

louielou · 09/04/2008 18:14

he will only go down in his cot during the day if he has fallen asleep on my breast. if he wakes as i put him into his cot, he screams and screams. i haven't been brave enough to try the controlled crying thing, so i just give in, and put him back on my breast till he falls asleep again.

at night, he again falls asleep on me at his last 7pm feed. he feeds once in the night around 3am, and occasionally he stirs at other times but seems to be able to get himself back off to sleep. so its only daytime sleeps in the cot that are a problem.

i feel like i'm failing as a mum as i'm not brave enough to do controlled crying, and i feel like i have created this problem for myself by sticking him back on my breast everytime. help!! some advice please! if i do try CC how long is it going to take?! any other ideas?

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chibi · 09/04/2008 18:15

how old is he?

Original poster

louielou · 09/04/2008 18:32

sorry should have said, he's 14 weeks

OP posts:

haditfortheday · 09/04/2008 18:43

Dont feel a failure at all. He really is still very very young so needs to know that mum is about when he needs you. My DD doesnt sleep in her cot at all until the evening when I lay with her anyhow- shes 6 months. She only sleeps in the day in her sling but I feel if she needs me then she needs me & that is fine.

mrsgboring · 09/04/2008 19:57

Only clicked on this thread because I was sure it was going to say "he sleeps fine at night, but..." that your 14 week old is sleeping this well. My DS is 2.5 you see and sleeps, well... er... not well. (I am not a fan of the controlled crying either)

Loads of babies won't sleep in a cot in the day. I used a sling, others use buggies. I also had a while where I'd lie down with DS and feed and sleep next to him for his nap. Was quite nice as I got caught up on some of the nightime sleep, and I feel co-sleeping makes a baby really nice and secure.

moondog · 09/04/2008 19:58

Gosh, he is so young!
How about trying a little bouncy chair? My ds loved his.It had a heartbeat in it too.

Loopymumsy · 09/04/2008 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MabelMay · 09/04/2008 20:56

Hi Louielou
It really depends on how much you WANT your baby to sleep in his cot as to whether or not you think it's worth doing the controlled crying.
Personally, I found it essential for my sanity to get my two babies to sleep in their cots in the day. That time for myself was/is so important. I DID leave both my ds's to cry themselves to sleep (going in every 5, then 10, then 20 minutes - although it rarely got that bad).
Within 3 days they were both going down in their cots in the day with barely a grumble. Usually they go down very happily, still awake. If they do cry now, it's never for longer than a minute.
I had the advantage of having a kitchen where I couldn't hear the cries which made it a lot easier. They are both very happy little boys and very affectionate and secure so it really does no damage to them at all. It's whether you can handle it or not.
For me, it was TOTALLY worth it.

MabelMay · 09/04/2008 20:58

ps. I should say, my dcs are now 2.2 and 10 weeks old

Meandmyjoe · 10/04/2008 13:14

I think it's to early for controlled crying and leaving her to cry to sleep. Apparently, cc only works after 6 months and after the baby has object permenance. My ds didn't sleep in his cot in the day til last week and he's 8 months! It's up to you though. For me, it wasn't too important for him to nap in his cot and I was happy to rock him to sleep until he got too big!

horseymum · 10/04/2008 14:00

as mabelmay said, it is totally up to you. I also really value the time when my two are both in bed asleep in the afternoon - now 8months and 3 years old. It is worth persisting imho. i was never able to put mine done asleep, they were always awake when i put them in cot. would putting a favourite cuddly toy in cot help? you can help make something a favourite by giving it all the time - we id it with a muslin cloth which ds1 still loves to have, but only in bed. dd2 has one too and just plays with it. it is so thin it is ok if it goes on face. i just sneak back when asleep and check it is not shoved right in face and gently pull it off. ds1 used to love it over his head though - strange child! both only cry/fussed for a few minutes -probably 10 max. Close the doors and put some music on!

MegBusset · 10/04/2008 14:04

DS wouldn't sleep in his cot in the day til he was about 5 months old, I would take him out in the pram or let him fall asleep cuddled up on me after a BF. I miss those days when he was small enough to sleep on me

Now he is 13 months and sleeps in his cot just fine, so I really wouldn't worry about making long-term problems. We had a bouncy chair too and gradually he started taking one or two naps a day in that, then eventually I was able to cuddle him to sleep in the cot.

Pennypops · 10/04/2008 14:17

Louielou I wouldn't worry too much - my ds only slept on me or dh for his first three months which wasn't ideal but there you go. We used the Baby Whisperer shush-pat to get him used to his cot in the daytime and it worked - took a few days, a lot of patience and a pair of earplugs but it worked. I could never have done controlled crying. Now he goes off to sleep on his own and can settle himself when he wakes.

I missed the cuddles though when he went to his cot so my advice is to enjoy them!

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