My mum with DS brings bad feelings from my childhood. I wondered whether this has happened to you?
My mum sees my DS irregularly but it causes meltdowns. DS is very active, 3.5 years old. High energy but mostly calm, we try to create a stable environment.
I hear my mum love -bomb him. Say things like I'm never going to leave you - quite extreme (but obviously will do soon after). Then constantly remind him she is going soon. The next day, he was crying saying he "missed Grandma so much" .The things I'm observing is subtle but from my perspective, mimicking sad faces and similar. Lots of "no"s to things I wouldn't stop - getting a tiny bit muddy. Or encouraging overly cautious behaviour, when he is normally confident and safe. Being generally emotionally heavy.
On the day, he had a big meltdown. The next day they were glum, they are never glum.
I feel it's too much for a developing brain to deal with. But it's so many small things that I'm not sure how to communicate it.
It reminds me of how I felt as a child, except I had to deal with it everyday. Part of that is, if I express something I'm not happy with very calmly and well prepared, sometimes my parents find it difficult won't be able to manage their emotions. Go in to denial and sometimes double down on what I've asked them not to do. So making it worse and impossible for me to be heard.
My partner sees it but thinks because the contact is so limited that it is not really a problem. He sees how it would have been bad for me and that I'm over worried that he will experience the same.
Do you think this is concerning and that I need to raise it?