ASD or a "normal" toddler?

[EllieRosesMammy]

Hi all,

I'm hoping for some friendly advice as I'm kind of at my wits end. We have 3 children (ages 6, 2.5 and 1.5)

Our eldest child, 6, is generally well behaved, happy, clever and exceeded all her milestones - we have never had any concerns

Our middle child, 2.5, is a ball of energy, happy, clever and also exceeding all her milestones. The only concern we ever have about her is the fact that she has very little sense of danger and is always injuring herself (never seems bothered about it, she's tough as nails)

Our youngest child, 1.5, never seems to be happy. And I mean it doesn't matter what we are doing - she is always whinging. She whinges while playing in the garden, whinges while on a day out, whinges in the car, whinges at literally nothing. She has been this way since she was born, she was never a nice baby to hold as she would always wriggle to be away from us and then cry to be back on us when we put her down. We have tried ignoring it - she doesn't stop. We have tried telling her off for it - she gets worse. We have tried distracting her - also doesn't work. We have consulted doctors and health visitors - and because she is healthy and meeting her milestones they show very little concern and just tell us it'll pass. It isn't passing. It just seems to get worse and worse with age and now the temper tantrums have started (throwing herself to the ground, kicking, pinching, throwing her hands in the air or slapping her own thighs). I've never experienced anything like it with our other two children and I'm honestly lost with what to do. I am almost certain it's autism or something similar, but because she's not showing the typical symptoms listed online I don't feel like health professionals are interested.

Has anyone else experienced this or got any advice please?

Honestly if she’s not showing any other signs of ASD, I would say it’s just temperament. My son is 1, he pushes off of being held when he wants to crawl and walk around. He also cries to be held when he’s in his buggy, on his trike etc. He’s stubborn, very high energy, my mum calls him a live wire. He’s also got no meaningful words at 12 months and I don’t think he’s ASD. He’s met all of his milestones and is in general a happy smiley boy, but has been through VERY whingey stages at points. Little one is probably fine and you may be shocked because it’s your 3rd with this temperament but my sister and I both have our first with this temperament 😂

She's a shocker that's for sure, if she had been my 1st I think I'd of been put off having any more 🤣👀

Hi there OP,

That sounds really hard. I have 2 DS. Eldest, while not a great sleeper was a lovely baby and an exceptional toddler. Younger DS has cried, screeched whinged and moaned for nine months solid. I have posted on here before about him and very many people were quick to say Autism. However I really think as time goes on he is not ND and just has a more challenging temperament. It doesn’t sound like your DD is showing any signs of autism (although worth noting girls can mask and have different characteristics). Anyway just wanted to extend some support and solidarity from another mother with a challenging child. Unless you’ve been there it’s hard to understand how difficult and limiting it really is

Thank you! Most people just laugh because she's a terror who pretends to be a cute little angel when other people are around 🤦🏻‍♀️ but honestly she really is hard work, I feel like she hates me most days with the amount of whinging she does!