At bedtime tonight, told my 3yr old if he came downstairs one more time....

[bergentulip]

... that we would not be going to the 'indoor playground' tomorrow.

He came downstairs, massive grin, I reminded him, he said 'I know'. So, of course, told him we weren't going.

Now, I am pee'd off with myself because I threatened something to a three yr old that I did not really want to carry out (I'll now have to entertain him at home tomorrow instead- or he can watch me ironing[!!]), and I KNOW I should really take something away at that moment, or it is really ineffective....

Can I go back on my word? Will he remember in the morning? Can I pretend I never said it?? (He's sleeping like a log now, and I am pretty sure he won't wake up before the morning. He did not have a nap today....)

Nah! He won't remember.

You've still got a few years to go back on your word

I did something similar last week, if his level of understanding is good then do what I did. My dd was still punished but I told her "we have to still go swimming because we would be letting XXXXXX down if we dont go, but there will be no treats for you afterwards" She was fine with that and I didnt feel I was backing down.

Personally I would not go. I think even though they don't fully understand it is really useful the next time. Especially if you make the day really boring.

Then when he gets up the next night you can talk about how rubbish it was when he couldn't go to the soft play place last time.

I have gone back on word a few times and I do think it weakens things. Makes them keep trying it on.

True Flum. I do like to remind him of boring days/ bumps etc... when trying to get him to behave on other occasions.
For example, he fell down the stairs, from top to bottom on the first day we moved into our new house (we'd been living in a flat before)... and he has NEVER gone down the stairs since without holding on very firmly. I think possibly because for the week after that I kept reminding him what happened if he did not hold onto the bannister.....

ooooh, very tempted to go though.... it's only a couple of quid, and I can sit and have a coffee while he runs himself into an exhausted heap.....

oh, he was absolutely fine by the way. Not a tiny weeny bruise on him anywhere!

we went in the end. 'twas lots of fun.

Will remind myself next time- don't threaten something I am looking forward to doing too!