22mo LB behaviour out of control

[Terrible1s]

My 22 month old LB is gorgeous, he’s happy, his talking ability is above expected for his age, he’s a funny, extremely clever little boy and i absolutely adore him but his behaviour is so out of control, I can’t listen to one more person tell me it’s a phase because it isn’t.
He bites me excessively, this evening from picking him up from childcare at 4:30pm-7pm bedtime he must’ve bitten me over 100 times, he’s headbutt me 20-25 times, thrown heavy toys right at my face, hit me dozens of times.
I’ve contacted the HV numerous times, I’ve been the Gp surgery in tears. He also doesn’t sleep. He has 4-5 hours per night in total but this is usually very broken. Most days he won’t nap, some days he naps 20-30 mins, occasionally for upto 2 hours but not often.
He’s bitten me excessively since he was tiny, I’ve never been able to just sit and cuddle him since he was a little older than newborn because he would sink his teeth into me from a very very young age, he got teeth young, as soon as he had control of his hands the hitting started, then more recently he’s realised he can do some major damage with his head.
He has meltdowns lasting upto 2 hours at a time, these involve him being very upset, crying, screaming, headbutting the cot, floors, walls, skirting board, radiators, when I pull him away from things he can harm himself on he bites me and himself. Numerous times he’s bitten himself until he bleeds, but day to day when he’s excessively biting he doesn’t seem distressed or upset, occasionally it’s if I have something he wants but most of the time it’s like a natural instinct to just bite me. Ie I will be sat on the couch whilst he’s playing with his toys and he will spot my foot hanging off the couch and he will sneak over and bite as hard as he can.
I have 2 other older sons 10&14 and he’s also violent towards the 10 YO, the 14 YO is usually in his room so he doesn’t interact as much as the 10 YO does.
He doesn’t act like this whilst at his childminders though he did go through what his CM described as a ‘typical age related biting phase’.
As soon as I collect him from her house he goes into a frenzied attack on her step biting me wherever he can, she only needs to subtly say ‘Ah ah’ and he’s absolutely devastated and stops whereas when I try this he laughs or just smacks or bites me more. I’ve tried being much firmer and raising my voice, I’ve tried ignoring it, I’ve tried moving him away but it’s as if he NEEDS to bite me.
Does anyone have any suggestions for me please? I’m desperate. I’ve never encountered behavioural issues with my other children, I’m engaged with him, we have a good structured routine with food bath bed, he’s getting plenty of interaction, very little screen time (usually just songs on YouTube with the lyrics on screen as apposed to videos - he loves older music).
I’m all out of ideas and the Dr/HV have been useless.

Haven't been through this but the lack of sleep stands out that may be related to the behaviour. I do notice if mine don't sleep as long as they are used to, their behaviour goes downhill as the day progresses and they just cannot calm down if they are angry/upset. What does he do when he wakes? Has the doctor tried to help specifically with the sleep?

The Dr just doesn’t seem interested. They’ve referred me to community paediatrics but they’ve declined the referral as they can’t help with sleep or neurodiversity until he’s much older, we’re constantly told to reach out for support if we’re struggling but there’s no support there.
He had a bottle of milk and 6 bottles of water during the night last night 🥱
the issues are whether he’s slept or not but it’s like he really needs to satisfy an itch when he bites, it’s compulsive. I’ve read up on it but everything just says it’s a phase but this has been since he was tiny and phases should last weeks not over 18 months. Plus biting as a phase would usually just be in a rage whereas this is just bizarre to watch. I’m quite literally black and blue, I have bruises all up my arms, chest, a swollen eyebrow, bruised legs.

I would really push it with the GP. Take pictures so they see what you are dealing with. I think they are not getting it that this is just not usual biting. Is there a safe place like a playpen you can put him in when he does this? The 6 bottles of water stand out to me. That doesn't seem like a normal overnight thirst. definitely have him checked for diabetes. Sending you a hug.

My daughter was a biter too. We got chewelry and she learned to bite that instead of us. It was indeed a phase but it lasted way longer than normal. She didn't stop needing something to bite until around 5. She is autistic so it might be different for your boy, but the chewelry/toys definitely made a big difference to her.

She just had a desperate need to bite, it wasn't generally out of temper.

The excessive drinking over night might be sucking for comfort rather than actual thirst.

I’ve taken 30 mins worth of videos of him in meltdown rages, one GP said there’s nothing I can do, I was in tears showing him the videos and he just abruptly said ‘what do you want me to do?’ Very short fused.
They basically just act like I have to deal with it and it’ll stop eventually but my older children are really struggling with it too as he attacks the younger one but naturally as much as I try and not show it, it gets me down 😢

Do you think it could’ve been linked to your daughter’s autism?
I’m convinced he has ADHD but again, no one is interested, but I often have wondered if he does have autism, he doesn’t seem to have any typical signs but the excessive drinking can be a comfort of autism.
He's had blood testing done for diabetes, I do feel like it’s completely comfort, it’s like a self soothing technique.
Ive never heard of chewelry, I’ll take a look now thanks! I’m prepared to try anything at this rate I’m covered in bite marks and bruises, his poor arms and hands are covered in bite marks as if I don’t allow him to bite me he bites himself 😢
Maybe I need to delve deeper into potential autism, as he’s a good talker and loves making people laugh etc I’ve never really looked into it but there may be other symptoms I’m overlooking.
Thanks 🙏🏼

It might be ADHD, there's a lot of crossover and I think when they are young it's quite hard to tell which is which (or if it's both) but it's more obvious as they get older. Which is why they aren't keen to diagnose young. My daughter was 3 when she got assessed but there were other signs of autism as well and it became more apparent in the nursery environment.

She's 7 now and well past the bitey stage. While she still has meltdowns at times things are way better now!

Also her sleep totally settled down after being prescribed melatonin at 5. The 2-3 age was definitely the low point for us.

If the behaviour doesn't settle by about 3 people generally start to take it more seriously. So either it will pass and he settles on his own, or you can at least get more answers and techniques to deal with it.