Help! 20 month old slapping, pinching and hair pulling!

[amiandlils]

Not sure what to do about my 20 month old dd. In the last few weeks she has started hitting, pinching or hair pulling (or a combination of all three when she's on a roll) any time I try to get her to do something she doesn't want to - putting shoes on, sitting in her high chair, nappy changing, those kind of wicked things that mothers do...

All of this is consistently aimed at me - only rarely to ds or dp. I asked the nursery if she does it there and they also say rarely.

I have tried ignoring it, putting her down and walking away, turning my back, firmly saying 'no', firmly shouting 'NO' - she absolutely couldn't care less.

Really want to nip this in the bud as I am getting fairly fed up - my next tactic is to sell her on eBay ...

Avoid doing the things that upset her unless it is absolutely, unavoidably essential, like getting in a car seat. Otherwise make them really fun like changing a nappy in front of a tv prog/lots of tickling. Tkae her hand gently when she does do it and say 'that hurts me and makes me sad. Please be more gentle' and show her what gentle means - make her hand stroke your face. She's trying to become independent and, in her eyes, she's being thwarted at every attempt! What about getting her shoes she can put on on her own? Or letting her go barefoot? Let her sit on your knee for meals, or get her a different high-chair, or let her eat on the floor on a picnic mat.

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