Newborn night / sleep

[ciavent90]

Hi All,

Hoping someone can shed some advice or tips here. Gave birth 5 days ago and we have been home for the last 2 nights. First night home was utter hell. We didn't sleep at all, baby was feeding constantly and although I'd had multiple midwives check my latch and say it was great, I already have cracked nipples and was crying every time she went to feed from the pain.

The cycle would go something like this: displays feeding cues (head bobbing / turning, lip smacking, open mouth, tongue out, rooting etc), put baby on boob to feed, let her come off naturally, let her sleep on chest then transfer to moses basket. She would either cry and would want to be back on the boob again for comfort (falling asleep as feeding) or she'd settle momentarily and then display all the feeding cues again.

At 5am, I decided to give her a dummy in her moses basket to suck on as my boobs were unbelievably painful and she'd fed 20+ times in the night (feeds ranging from 5min - 30mins at a time). Midwife came to see us yesterday and suggested nipple shields so my nipples can heel and a pump so I can give my boobs a break for 24hrs and so my husband can feed her during the night too.

I know cluster feeding is normal to bring the milk in but did anyone else experience this? How did you get baby down in a bassinet at this early stage for sleep? I was literally falling asleep with her on me which I really don't want to do!! She's very sucky and wants to suck for comfort I think, not just food. I didn't really want to use a dummy but laying her down and giving her that to suck after she's eaten and come off the boob naturally is seeming to work to get her to sleep for a little bit of time.

Also any tips on beginning to establish a routine with my husband at night would be amazing. We're very early days so imagine it's all about survival atm but in a few weeks I'd love to begin getting a sensible routine in place for baby's sake and also to ensure the load is shared and we both stay mentally in a good place.

TIA!

You’re right that this stage is mainly survival.
The way your baby is acting sounds very normal - they love to just be attached to you and to sleep on you. Transferring to a crib often ends up in crying after a short period.
It’s thinking of it as if you were the baby - so you’re in a warm cuddle with your parent, you’ve just been fed and you’re asleep cuddled up and feeling safe. Then you realise that you’re a bit cold, you’re on a mattress rather than cosies up to your parent etc and then you can kind of understand why they get upset after being transferred to a crib. Some babies don’t mind being in the crib but the majority do seem to prefer just being held.
Probably the best thing you can do is take the night in stages with your husband. One of you stay up with baby until like 1am for example whilst the other sleeps, and then you swap. You should both get a chunk of a few hours of sleep through the night.
If you’re happy to pump and let your husband feed her then that’ll work well for you getting rest. If you’d rather not pump then he’ll just have to bring her to you when you’re sleeping.
Newborn days are truly hard and the lack of sleep really is something you can’t prepare for.

I would t worry too much about getting them into a routine just yet, you'll find that most babies start to develop their own after around two months anyway with not much intervention

Cracked nipples sound really painful. Have you read this on cracked nipples and are you taking Paracetamol?

Have you called one of the BFing Helplines?

And is there a BFing Support Group in your area?

A lot of what you've said, like LO not wanting to be away from you or DH could just be normal newborn behaviour but if you have cracked nipples I think it's worth reading this on Tongue Tie.

Congratulations on your new LO too

Sorry forgot to add, book Babycalming should help you to find a routine that suits both you and LO and the plus side is that it's evidence based, unlike a lot of baby routine promoting books

Hi mama!

First of all you're doing great!! The first few weeks are quite tough but it does get better! It is different with every baby but you just need to listen to what your baby is saying.

If baby is wanting more food then go ahead and give her/him it. It is very tiring and if you're breastfeeding I would definitely pump so your husband can have a chance to bond so it'll give you a break - obviously if you feel comfortable with that.

Don't worry about routines just yet. I started the bath bottle bed routine when my baby was 6-8 weeks old and I think I did it too early. I should've just listened to my baby's needs and followed her routine instead because I just stressed myself out.

Baby's only eat what they need to in order to grow and develop. They only do certain things because that's how their body develops. The best piece of advice I can give is listen to what your baby is telling you, and nap whenever you can during the day. It doesn't last forever! You're doing amazing!!

How are you both now @ciavent90?

@CadyEastman better thanks! We had a period of cluster feeding before midnight 2 nights ago, and then she slept for 6hrs straight so I tried to replicate the feeding schedule last night and again she slept through, although I woke her at 4am for a feed even though she didn't want much. Whether it's a fluke or it lasts, we're happy to have got more than 1-2hrs sleep!!

6 hours at that age is fantastic! I'd just let her sleep at night as long as you think she's getting enough milk in a day

@CadyEastman thank you for all the resources you added in this thread too. I used nipple shields which helped loads, along with Lansinoh nipple balm which was a godsend. I've also bought a pump so if necessary I can give her a bottle and give my boobs a break, or too you breastfeeds with extra milk I've pumped (she's a little underweight atm).

I've also made a note of local breastfeeding support groups which I'll likely attend 🙂

I'd recommend going along to the local BFing groups even if you don't feel like you need any support. Sometimes it's a good place to meet local Mums and Mums-to-Be and just have a cuppa and a chat