You smell like ... poo!

[NotQuiteCockney]

When does the scatological phase end? Please let it be soon.

I can enjoy fart jokes as much as the next mum (ok, probably more), but the continual shouts of poo! wee! willy! are getting on my nerves.

lol bettyspaghetti

Ah, but DS1 was (is) always quite outgoing and sociable, but recently, reading has started working, and he does love reading, while still being (as you know) quite outgoing. Your DD always seems quite ... familiar ... to me. Maybe a similar personality to DS1?

Hmmm, betty, has your DS got 'The Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business'? If not, he probably would appreciate it ...

Oh dear, have just realised that possession of that book, Everybody Poops, Walter the Farting Dog, and various other scatological books (including Le Grand Voyade de M. Caca, which is great) may have contributed. Um, all of which were purchased by me.

But do you have Vesuvius Poovius? If not then you must get it.

lol at your "lightbulb " moment of realisation NQC

Re: mole book -I actually bought it for my friends DS who was witholding his poo and it worked wonders but I haven't bought it for DS (yet!)

Oh god, is that a Roman themed poo book? That could be a huge hit ... off to google ...

Yes, we have the Little Mole too. And DS has been known to threaten to poo on people's heads. Mind you he did wee on me last week and I did remember to be very 'oh dear never mind' rather than angry (because it was a typical kid accident; he was engrossed in the pictures I was showing him on the computer, sitting on my knee and....)

That portrait is definitely a keeper. My mom kept all my family portraits and funnily enough, I?m an artist now. Anyhow, on the topic? my husband tends to start things such as sitting on his nieces and nephews heads and farting? then he runs off after getting everyone wound up. I?m worried what it?s going to be like when we have kids.

Pretty much the same, I would think.

I do get quite amused when funny farting things happen, but I wouldn't ever fart on someone's head, fwiw.

The trick is definatley not to laugh. I'm a bit of a let down in that department.

DD1 (3.1) and I have a routine of asking each other, "was that you?", whenever we fart. Not her idea I'm afraid. DW is unimpressed.

Two stories:

We were out at a pizza restaurant. DD1 and her best friend (boy 3.6) were having a poo and wee exchange and giggling wildly. He suddenely stops and declares, at the top of his voice, "I know! I'll be poo and you be wee."

The whole restaurant fell silent.

Second one: DD1 and I are on the bus. She is gazing out of the window. she turns to me and says, in a very serious voice, "we don't poo on other people's heads do we Daddy?"

TBH I feel reassured that my son isn't the only child to be talking about pooing on peoples heads

For those of you trying to confine pooey words etc to the house.

dd1 is 4 and aware more of what is appropriate or not. She talks about "trumping" (her word) a lot, but generally at home not elsewhere.

She also described her injured finger as a "bleeder" - quite accurately really. She has agreed that she can say the word "bleeder" as often as she likes at home, but elsewhere it is a "sore finger" I think with a slightly younger child they a) like showing you up and b) generally have less awareness of what is socially acceptable.

My ds is 2 and has a habit of puttting his hand down my top and saying "Poo,smells of fish"
which of course i dont

Well, our local library does a weekly Story Time session where about 30 local mums and kiddies gather to be read to be the librarian.

Imagine the scene... everyone's children being good as gold, quiet as mice, sitting still and listening to the story... suddenly my DS gets bored and starts shouting "Pooey! Stinky! Pooey! Stinky", quickly followed by my friend's DS. They start running around the shelves and shouting pooey stinky to each other. We were embarrassed at the time as nothing worked to calm them down so we quickly retired to the loos. We now look back and laugh.

Sometimes DD2 looks around furtively before shouting "Daddy's bum!". It's difficult not to laugh and to act like a grownup.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dunnop.
Dunnop who......

Snigger, Snigger. DS1(6) DS2(3)

After 10 times a day for at least a month, it's really not funny. At all. We also have every song with poo, wee and willy inserted at regular intervals! I'm hoping it's a phase they'll grow out of but it's dragging on a bit for my liking.

oh yes this too is a household bored bored bored of toilet humour -
bum-hole , poo-bum , stinky-winky , you smell of dog-poo , wee-wee head are the favourite words/phrases of my 3 yr old

on mothers day i was woken up by this beautiful sentiment
"happy poo-poo day!! you smell of wee-wee" whilst having my full bladder jumped on - i very nearly did smell of wee-wee too.

please tell me it will end soon {just lie}

Ah yes, Ds1 and DS2 are affectionally know as poo head and poo boy. I've got so used them calling each other I no longer hear it (iykwIm)

Ha Ha....just been reading through this thread and laughing when people say..."when is this phase going to end?" My husband is 36 and his dad is 64 and they only seem to find toilet humour funny.....
so much so, when my father in law was in Canada he found an electronic fart machine on a keyring and it is now his pride and joy....

Is there any hope for my two kids????

My Dad (aged 74) STILL find it hilarious to let off his fart machine and send my Ma up to the roof! I gave my DS (aged 3) some cough medicine he didn't like a couple of months ago and he came out with "Yuk, that tastes like a fart sandwich!" Couldn't stop laughing and now EVERYTHING is described as fart sandwiches. Especially people who've been horrid. I'm no better than him - I blame the parents.......

Did you know there's a pop-up, or should that be plop-up version of the little mole who knew it was none of his business. It's ace!

I've ordered Poovius Vesuvius. Will watch for the plop-up version of the little mole.

VintageViolet, I'm absolutely certain your DC will stop with the crude talk any day now. Absolutely for sure.

(Today, DS1 was cheering me up becase I am v v tired and worn out, and singing me a lovely song, and DS2 decided to join in, only his song included the fact I am, apparently, stinky. )

This morning, we played with a kids Scrabble board a bit.

DS2 asked me to spell 'wee'. I complied. He then told me off, as he said it spelt 'poo' instead.

I've just remembered another funny thing DS has come out with during this phase.

Before Xmas he overheard various people talking about Nintendo Wii. After much thought he said "You know 'tendo Wiis, is there a 'tendo Poo as well"

My son has a habit of singing (to tune of the sun has got his hat on)

"I love my little Mummy
I do I do I do
I love my little Mummy
But I know she smells of POO!"