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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Poll : Would you send your 4 years old to her grand parents for a week ?

34 replies

Ploufplouf · 07/04/2008 20:04

Hi all !

I'm having a really difficult time with my DD and I desperatly need a break, my parents in law offered to have her next week. It's a great place to be, they are in the countryside, have a big back garden...much better than in London with no garden...etc..What would you do ?

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hercules1 · 07/04/2008 20:06

DD is 4 and would love such a thing.

hoxtonchick · 07/04/2008 20:07

my dd, 3 in june, is going up to her grandparents next week. she's going with ds who's 6, & they're staying for 3 nights. everyone (inc. grandparents!) very excited.

notnowbernard · 07/04/2008 20:08

DD1 is 4.4 and I would be happy for her to be with either set of GP for a week (would find it hard, though!)

She, OTOH, would LOVE it!

Original poster

Ploufplouf · 07/04/2008 20:08

And would you let her go ? I'm a bit torn regarding her age..I also feel guilty but deeply I know she'll have a ball !

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sleepycat · 07/04/2008 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StripeyMama · 07/04/2008 20:10

Yes - I do so every eight weeks.

Its slightly different as she stays with her GPs when she visits her dad (he has no spare room for her) but it gives me a much needed break.

Let her go and spend the time relaxing - are you a single parent?

FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2008 20:10

I wouldn't, but my 4 yo wouldn't want to go and I don't trust my parents to look after him for a week anyway

frogs · 07/04/2008 20:10

I just have, as it happens. And they've got my 8yo as well, for more like 10 days.

Dd1 went for the first time when she was 2. Children love it, grandparents love it. As long as the children like the idea and you trust the grandparents to take good care, I can't see a downside.

Original poster

Ploufplouf · 07/04/2008 20:10

Your answers are really encouraging !!!!!!!

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2008 20:11

does she want to go?

lilybubble · 07/04/2008 20:12

Yes, have done 4-5 days at a time, about 4 times now, and we all love it! Do it, you will all feel the benefits!!

Original poster

Ploufplouf · 07/04/2008 20:13

You are all making me feel better ! She went in the past but was too young and now we want to try again...cant wait now !!!

OP posts:

StripeyMama · 07/04/2008 20:14

4 is fine to be away for a week IMO - I was spending a week at a time away from my mum at 2 as has DD. I actually think its good for children and parents to be happy to spend some tme apart - I find it quite difficult being a single parent and really need the time to myself.

At first I was a bit eeeek about the idea of her being away for a whole week but have realised since that she is fine with it!

DO NOT feel guilty. We all need a break sometimes - just be glad you have got someone offering you the chance.

HonoriaGlossop · 07/04/2008 20:14

I think if she will have a great time and want to go, then great. I would try to ensure she doesn't sense that she's being 'sent away' somehow though.....kids are so sensitive to atmospheres, she'll know for sure that you've been having a difficult time, so I'd say you'd need to make sure she doesn't feel it as a rejection from you.

Of course I could be over-analysing!

OverMyDeadBody · 07/04/2008 20:14

If she'll have a ball and enjoy it then I'd do it!

I left DS with my parents for six nights when he was four, I missed him like mad but was racing abroad and couldn't take him. He had a great time.

Do it. You can always go and get her early if you're missing each other.

TheFallenMadonna · 07/04/2008 20:15

DS went to his grandparents for 5 days at 4 and loved it. Gratifyingly pleased to see us again of course, but really had a good time, and is rather disappointed when we accompany him now.

Pollyanna · 07/04/2008 20:15

It would depend on whether she would want to go, and if she could deal with the separation.

my 5yo dd has been offered a week with her gps in the summer and she (and I) is thinking about it. But she will be with her brother and sister. She wants to go, but will miss me. I wouldn't let my youngest who will be 3.6 go though.

frogs · 07/04/2008 20:16

I find the wording: "Ooh, lucky you, you're going to have your own special sleepover at grandma's." does the trick every time.

notnowbernard · 07/04/2008 20:16

I have really lovely childhood memories of staying with my Nan and Grandad when I was little, with my cousins. They lived by the sea and we used to spend a lot of time on the beach, having picnics etc

Am very lucky that my dds will have similar memories

StripeyMama · 07/04/2008 20:16

Independence is no bad thing for children to learn. I would never send a child who was unhappy with the idea away for a week but if they are fine with it and the GPs are trustworthy then it will be good for all concerned.

ChasingSquirrels · 07/04/2008 20:17

my parents - yes, he knows them so well and my mum has looked after him 3 days a week since 9mo. i would happily let him go.
inlaws - no, he went for a night at 4.5y for the first time. prepared to build up from there.

Meandmyjoe · 07/04/2008 20:17

Do it! I wish someone would offer to take ds for a week!! Maybe your parent in laws wouldn't mind a little boy to look after too! lol

Flibbertyjibbet · 07/04/2008 20:22

Yes yes yes!!!
Shame he is only 3 still... counting the days

Sassafrass · 07/04/2008 20:24

No, I wouldn't. DD often spends the day with grandparents, she's 3 and will most likely go on a weekend holiday with them in the summer, but a week to me is much to long. I'd probably do it when she's 6 or 7 years old. But, if you feel comfortable with it and you think your 4 year old is up for it and would have a good time, then why not.

Original poster

Ploufplouf · 07/04/2008 20:24

You know what I really tought I would get slated for that...I'm so glad, I'm going to make ready to the idea !

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