severe separtion anxiety affectung bedtime routine in 8 month old

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ok have a huge problem at moment - ptosis see thread

but this is close second!

no help or advice so far on severe separtion anxiety

i cant get amin to myself since lo born

lo always has wanted to be held and now that he is mobile thought could breath sigh of releif

no

as soon as i leave room to prepare milk, go to loo etc he sits and cries and screams till he cant breath

if i let him know i go it seems to be worse and so best to sneak out as sometimes toys distract him - 1 in 100 times

now with more light in eves he sits in bed when put to sleep and cries till crazy so putting to bed which was the one thing I was ok at - is now a nightmare!!

he is wide awake and then acts as if back to day separation anxiety

i have to get him real tired and snoozy - till darkenss comes and then he goes to sleep no problems

any insights would be most appreciated

Black out baby's window with black sugar paper. Looks unsightly but my God it's worth it! Had a simialr problem with ds last week but it's resolved it's self just about. Does he cry for long if you leave him at night. Perhaps you could try leaving him to settle for a few minutes. I've been assured I'm not damaging ds by doing this for naps when he resists sleep in the day!

Unfortunately I think separation anxiety is just a phase you have to live through and what the child needs more than anything is reassurance that you will be there, that you do come back, so there is nothing much you can do but ride it. Horrific that it is, you have my sympathies.

The only thing I can suggest is during the daytime playing games of peek-a-boo and such like with you spending a few seconds more each time so he knows you come back.

To him it is a real genuine fear that you've gone. If you show him you care and come to his need then he will learn to trust that and in time it will pass and you'll have a confident little boy to boot.

Also, I wouldn't advise trying to sneak out so he doesn't know you've gone. I know it'a tempting! But let him know you are going but that you will be back. Go to the loo or whatever you need to do but maybe talk to him whilst you are gone if possible. This is just a phase but the more he learns that mummy goes but always comes back the more reassured and secure he will be so the phase should be over quicker if you see what I mean!?

Saw this the other day on The Baby Whisperer programme. A nine-month-old with the worst separation anxiety ever. Mummy couldn't do a thing without her crying her eyes out for her... It would be damn useful for you to watch the programme, I can only remember bits of it...

Always tell DS where you are going and what you are doing. And that you are coming back. So for example, if you are going to get a backpack. Tell him that is what you are getting, where you are going and that you will come back and when you come back, show him the item.

The other thing is to re-create his play area in the rooms you most use i.e. kitchen, living room, his room. And let the toys distract him. I know it doesn't work all the time but it's worth a shot.

Some other bits involving your partner but I can't remember... Sorry!

which channel is this on?

have done most of suggetsions you mentioned though

It was on Sky Real Lives... Bound to be repeated! There were loads she did though. I always watch with the best intentions of applying the techniques she used in the future but my memory is not the best!