Am I being cruel regarding ds naps??

[Meandmyjoe]

DS is 8 months old and until the last week has NEVER napped in his cot. He has always resisted naps and I have spent the last 8 months trying to get him to nap by rocking him with the extractor fan while he arches his back and cries til he goes to sleep.

Strange as he settles relatively easy at night and sleeps for around 11 hours with no wakings.

I have tried shortening the lenght of time he is awake for and putting him down for a nap earlier incase he was over tired. Made no difference.

However, last week I decided that ds is just too big (23lbs 6oz) to be rocking him to sleep whilst he writhes about and tries to get free. My back was killing me as he is very demanding and requires a lot of carrying around anyway. I put him in his cot in his room and decided to leave him to cry for a bit. I fully intended to go rescue him if he cried for more than 5 minutes. He didn't. Within 5 mins he was asleep and napped better than ever. Also no I have the time without him napping in my arms to do something useful! I have continued to put him in his cot for naps (unless going out in the car).

However, he still cries when I first put him down. I thought he would have hopefully learned not to cry. I feel awful leaving him, even though it's only for around 5 mins. He has never been left to cry before and I worry I maybe damaging him! Am I being cruel or am I totally overreacting?! The problem is, if I stay in the room to reassure him, it seems to frustrate him even more and he cries for longer as he can see me yet I'm not picking him up.

Do you think he will learn to settle himself without crying or am I screwing him up??

meandmyjoe, you are so welcome.. i also admit to welling up when reading so many of your posts, as have felt the same pain when going through EXACT same in the past. i feel so strongly about the affect on a parent of dealing with a high need/fussy baby that i am involved in trying to set up a community peer support programme to be run by mums for mums going through this, as it really takes one to know one does'nt it!!? anyway just want to reiterate my point about how your baby will be a secure child and ignore anyone who makes you feel differently! good luck with the naps!

I also read your threads stalk you, as I am in a similar boat as you! (but cranky 9mo).

He also crys himself to sleep, and cannot stand me being in there, I tried to comfort him worrying that he hated me leaving him, but it made him worse.

He sleeps well at night at the moment, but hates goung down on his naps - so much to see and do!!! Am impressed your ds claps - mine won't (he is so lazy).

Oh I haven't checked this for a while and I just realised there have been some new posts. Lol, to special offer 'stalking me'!! I always wondered why I have an overwhelming feeling of being watched

Anyway, missymum, that community group sounds amazing. I really wish someone would have set one up for me! Perhaps when I have recoveed a bit I should set one up in my area. It would help so many people and it really is a ubject that isn't addressed. No one can possibly understand it til they've been through it and when they are going through it, it feels like they are the only ones who have ever been through it.

I would be interested to hear your ideas!

Anyway, regarding the naps. DS now goes to sleep without crying . He also is seeming to be a little more engaged in his surroundings and is enjoying simple games with us now, instead of just whinging to be carried around! Perhaps (dare I say it??!) things are improving.

Thank you again for all the lovely supportive messages.