arhhhhh hate my friends 2 boys!!!

[JackJacksmummy]

Its not often i actually hate other peoples kids but these 2 are awful - and i mean f**king terrible! even their own grandparents hate them.

They are 8 and 6 and are the oldest is so badly behaved he has to go to a special school in the mornings but still is not getting any better so there is talk of him going to a special school permently because he is so far behind in his education. The 6 year old is just as bad, maybe a bit more intelligent though.

The problem is the mum is a very good friend and i have known her years, She looks after my 2 boys when i work - (they are 3 and 1) and my DD (almost 8) She has them at my house on a saturday morning for 3 hours before my DP gets home and i expect during this easter holidays she'll also have them here.

On saturday just gone my dp returned home to see the 6 year old with his trousers and pants down to his knees riding my sons bike (showing everything)and the other one on the trampoline with his trousers also down pretending to masturbate in front of my daughter.

Also they have broken my and scratched my daughters bike, and the same day my dp had toltell the 6 year old off for sticking his middle finger up at his own mum - she does absolutely nothing, and if she does they pay no attention to her and carry on.

The thing that gets me is she'll quite happily complain to me that my boys have done something like put their feet on her glass table - something that a 3 year old would most probably do.

I dont know what to do, i cant get alternative childcare at short notice for this holidays but i dont want to leave them with the boys here, I'm considering even quitting work just so that i dont have to have them around her two.

What shall i do?

TBH I couldnt leave my children in a position like that, flashing yourself is not on was at that. I think it may be in your childrens best interests to give up work until you can find other child care, or get signed off with stress and use the time to look for alternative child care.

The behaviour you mention doesn't sound just like it is boisterous fun - quite disturbing and I really would worry about leaving my daughter with them....

I suppose cornering the mum and talking to her about your concerns isn't an option, but I would try to sort out some alternative temp arrangement...

Agreed, these boys sound more than boisterous, they sound a bit nasty.
I would not leave my DD with them.
If the mother has no control that is serious, there is no hope this situation would improve.
See if you can find alternatives or ask your employer for shortened hours temporarily while you find an alternative, or see if you can take unpaid leave just to get through this holiday.
Most bosses would not get too het up if you explain you have discovered that the childcare you arranged was "inappropriate" (you don't need to go into details) and you are trying to find alternatives.
Tell your friend you are looking for alternative arrangements so when you move the children it is not a bolt out of the blue but say something like you feel DD would benefit from a bit more female company. Telling your friend you hate her kids will upset her so best avoided. However if hse directly asks whether her children's behaviour is a problem, you might be able to say that it is a partial reason, yes.

I know this sounds harsh, but IME children with behavioural problems (NOT those with a dianosis of AST, etc) are not inherrently bad kids, but have been badly parented.
I agree with everyone else, try to sort out some alternative childcare, because you don't want your children developing behavioural problems. Or having to suffer unpleasant behaviour from these older boys.

don;t quit work. find a childminder or see about a nanny share or something like that

their behaviour sounds worse than 'normal' naughty behaviour, do you thikn they have SN? especially if at a special school and having problems keeping up at school, might not just be bad parenting.

Oooo that does sound bad. I must admit that some boys find it funny to occassionally get their 'bits' out but at 6 and 8 years old they should hav grown out of this!Also pretending to maturbate at his age is frankly quite disturbing, how the hell does he know this stuff?!

Anyway, i would probably try and talk to your friend about it. Perhaps she is around them so much that she maybe doesn't notice quite how bad their behaviour is. Sounds like she probably is aware though as the eldest goes to special school. I would maybe see about arranging a family member or another close friend to watch your children until you can arrange another form of child care. Colleges often have excellent facillities for children up to age 8 and they are fairly reasonable prices as they are staffed by people learning childcare (supervised and monitored by proffessionals obviously!)

It's tricky as you don't want to offend your friend but at the same time I really wouldn't want my ds being around behaviour like that.

i think i'm going to go down the being signed off sick for a few weeks and take the time to find other childcare arrangements, its really quite disturbing and the more i think of it i get more upset and annoyed by it.

Thanks for the advice - i'm so glad its not just me being over-sensitive.

Well, obviously you need to find new childcare. That goes without saying. And frankly, it's the only issue that I can see. Sort out the friendship later if you want but find some decent childcare. Good luck.