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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3 YO has started to ask WHY....

14 replies

No1ErmaBombeckfan · 07/04/2008 13:39

about absolutely everything...

Regardless of what DH and I say in answer to this she just reasks WHY.... and it is driving me nuts...

Any advice?

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ZoeC · 07/04/2008 13:40

No advice, but you have my sympathies as I am in very much the same boat. Why is a response to almost everything I say, even when 'why' doesn't even make sense as a question in that circumstance!

It will pass (I tell myself!)

AussieSim · 07/04/2008 13:47

We were advised to respond with the classic shrinks answer the question with a question: Why do you think? Seems to work ...

TooTicky · 07/04/2008 13:51

It's just a phase. Answer in detail (but accessibly) and give her something to think about. They are just so desperately curious at this age and also enjoy the conversation.

I know what you mean about driving you mad though

duomonstermum · 07/04/2008 13:52

eeeerrrrrmmmm i could lie and say it gets better??? my DS is 10 and every other word is why. we found that age appropriate books that could answer some of the questions helped esp as it gives you the chance to say look it up. i would take it as a good sign that she's interested in stuff. wait til you get "if god created the universe, then who created god???" recent classic which still has the minister in knots. he won't accept the "you just have to believe" line he was given..... it's a pain at times but i've found that they tend to do it more if the see you're trying to fob them off or it's annoying you. there's always the option of pointing them towards other victims people sorry if that isn't much help!

midnightexpress · 07/04/2008 13:58

You have my sympathies. DS1 is 2.5 and doing exactly the same at the moment and it drives me bonkers. If I say 'why do you think?', he just says 'I don't know'.

In park this morning:

DS1: can we go this way mummy? (indicating slope that leads over fence, off path, down through flowerbeds)
me: no
DS1: Why?
me: because I can't take the buggy (with ds2 in) over the fence darling.
DS1: Why can't you take the buggy over the fence?
me: Because it's too heavy.
ds1: Why is it too heavy?

me: It just is

ds1: Why is it mummy?

This too shall pass.

Hillbilly · 07/04/2008 14:25

This has just started with my dd who is 2.10.

One day last week she suddenly asked "Why?" to something and has not stopped ever since!!!

Babealicious · 07/04/2008 14:33

Deepest sympathy one and all - not a quick passing phase in my experience. Still happening 8 months on - HEELLLLLLLP

ellideb · 07/04/2008 14:39

LOL actually I still ask these questions and I'm nearly 25! Nothing wrong with an enquiring mind its how we learn. i agree with Aussiesim and redirecting the question back at them! it works with the children i mind. i can understand your frustration tho!

DontCallMeBaby · 07/04/2008 14:47

Enquiring mind = good.

Responding 'why' to EVERYTHING = less good.

Responding 'why' when I have already pre-empted the question by explaining why during the course of the request (eg 'DD, do this because ...') = really quite not good.

Responding 'why' to a request to get a move on when the reason is blatantly obvious (because I have a hot meal and cup of tea on the table and DD has decided she wants to go for a poo) =

'Why do you think?' does work well with DD - for the questions she actually knows the answer to, or has an idea. She's 4, pretty articulate and does have a lot of ideas about why things are, just her default reaction is to ask 'why' of other people.

That's on a good day - on a bad day I opt for 'will you please quit yakking and just do it?' or holding head in hands repeating 'oh my god, oh my god, stop TALKING'.

phlossie · 07/04/2008 16:24

In response to my counsin's whyyyyyyyy My uncle used to say, quite simply, zed.

uberalice · 07/04/2008 16:35

DS: Why is that an apple mummy? ... it that just the way it is?
Me: Yes, that's right.
DS: Why is that just the way it is, mummy?
Arrrrrrgh!

kategarden · 07/04/2008 16:49

Enough to make you scream! Thank god, DD is now 6 and past that phase, but she really went for it in her time. We were reduced to just saying 'That is not a 'why' question' and refusing to answer unless/until she said something more specific and meaningful.
And yes, I know that you are meant to be very understanding, and explore their question to figure out what they are trying to discover about the world. But it was that or strangling her

lizziemun · 07/04/2008 16:58

dd1 is now 4.2yrs and has now been doing this for a year amongst the 40 thousand other questions i get between 6.30am and 9am school(2.5hours of piece and quite ) then it all starts again until 7pm when she goes to bed.

I now have conversations like this

dd1 - Mum why is the sky blue
me - because it is ( do know but explained more times then i have had hot dinners ).
dd1 - why
me - because it is
dd1 - why
me - why
dd1 - don't say why mummy it is a naughty word.

Now if someone can explain why when i say 'why' it a naughty word but not when she says it. I will be very grateful.

MNersanonymous · 07/04/2008 23:08

Yep Ds (2.9) started on the questions - 'what's that'/ 'what's that for' last week and now the why's and 'who's that's this week....there've been some tricky ones already e.g. ds pointing to the graveyard and saying what's that, what's that for? And pointing at person whose name I really really should have known but had forgotten and saying 'who's that lady' etc.

Part of me is quite pleased as he hasn't been the earliest talker around so I'm delighted his verbal skills are now up to it....but I bet the novelty will wear off very soon!

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