Anyone else have a 3 yr who prefers to hover aimlessly and has no interest in toys, unless younger sibling playing with them?

[cookiemonstress]

DD1 is 3 and from the very beginning has always demanded a lot of attention. She has been a classic toddler and whilst very charming and loving, has been and still is very, very high maintenance. This has been recognised by Grandparents, HV etc. so I know it's not just me who thinks this.

She has never shown any interest in toys or playing on her own or even television. Anything new may getting a passing interest for 5 mins but is soon ignored. Instead she permanently 'hovers' and it drives me mental at times. She's clearly bored because whilst I'm doing something (cleaning my teeth for example), she'll just dingle around and start pulling washing off the radiators for example. The only time she'll do something on her own is if she has found something to do that she shouldn't (empty my handbag).
She goes to nursery 3 days a week so gets lots of stimulation that way, we give her 1:1 time every day, she doesn't have masses of toys but she has enough IMO. When she's not at nursery, we go out at least once a day and in the week, it will generally always be to do something she enjoys e.g. a trip to the park. So she doesn't get ignored by any stretch of the imagination, but it's never enough and because i work 4 days a week sometimes I just need her to take herself off like her sister does and give me 10 mins to empty washing machine, have a wee, make a call (you get the picture)...I'm not expecting miracles but I am constantly tripping over her so I just need her to move a few feet away at least and to stop looking so bored! She isn't especially clingy so I'm not sure its me that she even wants to hang around.

Whilst this is annoying in its own right, she has also recently started constantly snatching toys, books etc from her younger sister (18 months) who is her exact opposite and will sit and play for hours. DD1 is not interested in playing with what dd2 has, she just doesn't want her to have it (this is a recurring theme for play dates that come to our house). She will do this even with toys she knows belong to someone else.

Does anyone have any suggestions? She has access to crayons, playdough, books as well as toys but does not seem able to take herself off to play, even if it's just to the kitchen table while I'm cooking dinner.

Is there hope?! !!

Thanks for the support..I just i could find something that would inspire her or engage her.. She'll happily do things if someone does it with her but otherwise has no interest in playing on her own!

Have you tried story CDs for times when you really do need her out of your hair? Also have you asked her to help out when you need to hang out washing etc? It will slow you down, but will also involve her and prevent her from just hanging around and being annoying.

Do you have any time to yourself - when you are not working I mean? I find that does help me. My three year old DS is always pretty much into me playing with him or telling him stories - all day long. He has been on holiday and it was a relief for me that he went back today - so I have a couple of hours to catch up. Phew!
If you don't have any time, perhaps you could get a family member or friend to take your DD out to the park or something, while you potter around.
I have noticed that when I start giving DS attention by asking him to do things, like pick up his toys or anything boring, (like putting the clothes back on the radiator) he starts to avoid me a bit more, and becomes more focussed on finding something 'nicer' to do. Another thing I have noticed is that he becomes quite occupied when I ask him to help me, by bringing things or putting things somewhere, kind of complicated things.
Another thing, when I do 'educational' things with him, like ask him to tell me letters and numbers in a book, he runs off after a while, to rest his brain or something.
I have no idea if any of those things will work for your DD, but just a thought.

Thanks for feedback everyone, all great tips..! . I do let her help with lots of things like hanging out washing machine and I'm lucky that I work from home one day a week whilst dc are at nursery so I get a chance to do a quick hoover and a few loads of washing in between so I do stay afloat (just ).

Most of the time I can live with it but the time that really drives me nuts is in the morning when I am trying to get ready. I don't take long, 20 mins at most for shower, make-up, get dressed but am massively slowed down by my shadow. I know an easy answer is to get ready before she's up but she wakes at 5.45 every morning and i'm darned if I'm getting up any earlier than that!

I just wonder if she will ever find anything to interest her. The only things she ever shows an interest in wanting to do are painting (her feet and hands), making cakes and washing up, none of which are suitable activities for her to do on her own!

Some good tips here. A book I have found useful to read with my children is this - it is funny but has a little moral in there too. Might help with the not wanting others to have the toys problem?