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AITA - toddler really hurt other child's eye

2 replies

Guiltybadmum · 08/06/2024 14:22

Created an account just to post this cos I feel that bad.

Today my very rowdy 2.5 year old was playing with a brother (4yo) and sister (5yo) who we didn't know. We were at a sort of fête thing. It was almost nap time so my son was getting tired which always makes him more crazy so I was watching him quite closely. The mum of the two kids came up to me and started chatting friendlyly, asking whether we were local, what we'd been doing today etc etc. Then before we knew it, my son had somehow gotten a stick and jabbed her daughter in the eye who started crying.

Me and the other mum both rushed over. I told my son off and asked him to apologise which he did. The mum was looking at the girl's eye and thought she saw a scratch. I then explained how about a year before (when my son was about 20 months), my son had accidentally scratched his dad's eye with his finger and that if it was the same injury, she should probably go to an optometrist to get checked out, get some eye drops etc. The mum then got very angry with me and said that if I knew he "had a track record of doing this" I shouldn't have let him play with her children. I really don't consider him as having a track record of this, since the other incident was very different (he and his dad had been playing and his finger nail had gone into his dad's eye completely by accident). But - he is a very physical toddler who does often push, hug, grab, and even hit, so I had been watching him pretty closely before the mum had started talking to me, so even though he'd never jabbed a stick at anyone I suppose it wasn't the most surprising thing to do.

I guess I'm asking a AIBU - should I have prevented this or seen this coming? Am I a terrible parent? Am I raising a psycho (I don't think he meant to hurt her or really realised he had but I suppose I can't be sure)? Or could this have happened to any toddler and it's just an unfortunate accident?

I'm absolutely wracked with guilt and wondering should I have been watching more closely and is it all my fault. I feel like absolute shit. Me and his father are quite hands off/relaxed parents and it's making me wonder whether we're actually just shit parents.

OP posts:
KomodoOhno · 08/06/2024 15:29

All you can do is shadow him so you can stop him in time.

MistyHazelFox · 08/06/2024 19:15

That other mum sounds unreasonable, tbh. Children at 2.5 don't really have 'track record'.
You were right to assume problem was about to come up, but next time, don't watch your kid, you should have stopped playtime because he is wild while tired. You can't really stop your toddler from misbehaving if you just watch.

Next time something like this happen:
if your son is tired - send him to rest
if you son hit someone - tell him what he did was wrong (in language he can understand), then remove him from other people (for example, send him into corner for two minutes), after two minutes, remind him that hitting is bad and calm him.

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