Contact naps only

[Ftmash2024]

My 3 week old baby won’t sleep anywhere other than in our arms. We take it in turns to do shifts in the night but I am beside myself. I don’t feel safe having her sleep in my arms but she refuses to sleep in the bassinet she just cries and cries even after being fed and changed etc. I know she’s fine and doesn’t need anything else but she just doesn’t settle. I’m worried she’ll never be able to sleep on her own will she grow out of it?

I’m sorry, it’s a really hard time. She will grow out of it, don’t worry. I can’t tell you when, as every baby is different. I totally get your worries because I hated the thought of co sleeping so we also split shifts and would stay up holding our son.
With my son we just kept trying to put him in his crib. Just remember that being close to you is what makes her feel safe. If she’s been cuddled up to you and is warm and cosy and then suddenly is put into a cold harder crib then it’s understandable why she’d be upset. I think we would feel the same if it happened to us!
But practice makes perfect. She doesn’t know that the crib is a safe place to sleep in. Keep getting her used to the crib. Put her in it whilst she’s awake and you’re right there with her for a few moments. And when you want her to sleep there try putting her down in the crib and see what happens. Even if she sleeps for 5 minutes it’s progress.
Also, will she sleep in the pram? Again try practicing with that. Go for a decent walk when you know she’s ready for a nap and most babies can’t resist sleeping then! It helps get her used to falling asleep outside of your arms.
Newborn stage is so difficult but I promise it does get a lot better. I think of this stage as a time to just survive. Just get through each day and night and you’ll see things get better little by little.
Also do you follow any sleep consultants on social media? There’s account like Just Chill Baby or something who have tips on this kind of stuff.
I’m not going to say to enjoy the cuddles because it’s very hard to enjoy it when they’re stuck to you all the time and you have little sleep. But, my son will now only nap in his crib (he’s 15 months), and I do miss having a contact nap and cuddle with him.

I really feel for you mine is 6 months now and I felt such despair at the beginning, you know to expect broken sleep but i think it’s more than anyone can prepare you for!
I know it’s not for everyone but I co slept as he seemed much more settled next to me, not something I ever thought I’d do but I was desperate and we also did shifts for quite a while to get a chunk of sleep.
She will be able to sleep on her own and she will grow out of it but I know it’s not easy when you haven't got a timeframe.
Also I know it sounds silly but whenever I’ve had a rough night drinking plenty of water in the day made me feel a bit better.

My first was like this. I know it gets said a lot on here but it's definitely not for ever.

If you don't want to try co-sleeping, using a t-shirt that DH has worn as the sheet in the bassinet should give it a familiar smell. Some newborns are very sensitive to smell.

Placing a hand lightly on their tummy might help to settle them too.

I found Babycalming very helpful.

Mine wouldn't settle in the crib at all for 3 months or so but then started doing stints, i just kept putting her in the crib, and did things like warm it up with a hot water bottle first. But for weeks I stayed awake with her sleeping on me or in her swing until at least 4am then passed her over to my partner. It was only when i realised that she was doing a good 3 hours in her swing that i decided to try the crib in earnest, and i them started spending the first half of the evening downstairs with her, then taking her up to the crib while she asleep sometime after midnight. Bit by bit she started to do stints in the crib. My partner had a very flexible job so i could sleep for four hours in the morning after handing over to him, but if your partner has to leave early for work then the best thing is to share the night and do half each until your baby starts to sleep in the crib, even if it means one of you tried to sleep 9 - 2am and the other from 2 - 6am or whatever window of availability you have! Or if one of you can sleep a bit at the start and the end of the night and the other cover the middle of the night. I was breastfeeding so i would express enough milk for my partner to give her a feed without waking me up, but i didn't produce enough milk so we also used a formula top up when needed just so i could get a small amount of uninterrupted sleep! I thought it would never end but everyone kept telling me it would. So i made the nights as appealing as possible by lining up snacks and films. It was a difficult and lonely time, sometimes i felt like i was the only person awake in the whole world at that time but one of my friends just told me she convinced herself she was temporarily nocturnal, so i did the same. It feels like forever when you are living it, but mine is now nearly 18 months and i am only ever looking back on the crazy first weeks and months now and thinking how did i get through that! ! Keep going, it will get better. Many of them reject the crib at first.