Aaargghh! My DD is driving me mad with her attitude!

[bigTillyMint]

My DD (8 1/2) is mostly bubbly, sensible, quite polite and usually nice to be around. But recently she is getting more and more Tracey Beakerish (even though it has been banned in our house for at least 2 months!)
One of the most irritating things she does, is speak to me, DH and DS in a very petulant, smarmy, know-it-all voice when she is pointing out to us why she is annoyed / what we have done wrong, etc, etc.
I don't know if she does this to other children who annoy her (not her best friends, of course }
Anyone got any tips on how to deal with it?!

You could just say "IF you speak to me like that again, you will be going to your bedroom for an hour. I am your mother, you treat me with the same respect you would any other adult, I am not one of the brats in your school playground, thank you."

But saying that, my eldest is a 5 year old boy.

I do think it is important not to let yourself be spoken to that way, otherwise the teenage years will only be worse! I think she needs to know "Speak to me in your proper voice, or if you can't we'll talk later when you can".

And of course you have to make sure that at this point you're extra careful yourself, to talk to her in a polite and respectful way because kids are extremely sensitive to any double standards and will spot it straight away!

I think HG is spot on.

SmugColditz (love the name!) I did do that! I got a load more verbals and then, eventually, she apologised. I am not frightened of telling her she is in the wrong, and punishing if necessary, with time out, loss of privileges, etc. BUT I do not want to become locked in a mother-daughter battle for who wins, as it won't be long till she is a teenager
HG, I agree, I think you are spot on and this would work well if I could then move straight away from her.
What do you reckon I should do if we are stuck in the same room / out with friends, etc. She is liable to make a smart retort....

Well you can't physically stop her making a smart retort, but you can ignore her if you're stuck in the same room. If she was to be 'baiting' you and just getting ruder and ruder of course you can't ignore her and you'd have to warn her of a consequence to carrying on I guess.

Or if you're out with friends I don't think it hurts to get close to her ear and just tell her "Aren't you embarrassed to talk like that in front of......what must they think of you?"

i just think you have to withdraw your consent to being spoken to like this, and MEAN what you say, and this WILL work - so long as the normal family way of relating to eachother is polite. Oh and I think positive re-inforcement can't be a bad thing; as in, next time she DOESN'T resort to this sort of voice, give her a hug and tell her how proud you are of her for being so grown up and not speaking in a whiny way like some awful, silly girls do, and you're SO glad she's not like that...etc etc....

Good luck!