Smacked 1 year old as he was biting me

[bumsnetto]

I have a one year old (still occasionally breastfed) and he has a habit of sitting on my knee and then bouncing which is lovely. However, he takes it a bit far and then grabs my head and bites me. I should have got away quicker but couldn't get him to release this time. Normally it's not too bad. I tried grabbing his hands but I felt like I was being scalped.

I smacked his leg hard to get him to release and it's left a mark.

He's now in his highchair and I feel terrible. I shouldn't have smacked him.

What is he doing in his high chair?

I get it was a heat of the moment thing and we've all been in similar situations and im sure you don't want to hurt your child.

But please you are the adult here try and fix this. A baby has been smacked by it's parent and now strapped in a chair. You need to distract him , play with him and give him cuddles comfort and love. Not strap him into a chair and leave him to write about it on the Internet.

Give him a cuddle, do something he likes and make yourself a cuppa.

You aren't a bad parent.

I gave him some corn on the cob to eat as he seems to need something to bite on for his teeth.

The hairpulling and latching on to my head is quite frightening. It's like all of a sudden he gets a bloodlust for it. It really hurts and it's making me not want to cuddle him.

I felt terrible after. He watched some cartoons and then we read some stories together. I'm transitioning away from breastfeeding as he is over 1 and I think he finds that difficult too.

It's ok am sure you feel better about it today.

If he isn't ready to stop breastfeeding then you don't have to. Just be kinder to yourself as he gets older there will be other problems to face and we don't always make the right decisions. However being there for them whenever is a must got to respond to their needs. Easy for me to say though. The toddler years are frustrating.

Health Visitors putting us under pressure to stop. He deffo gets frustrated though and then acts out with biting which is difficult now his teeth have come in.

I had a biting baby/ toddler. Advice I had was to gently pinch their nose (not hard enough to hurt!) they will automatically open their mouth

Your baby is obviously trying to show you affection. Every single time I give my 4 year old a cuddle, he gets passionate and grabs my head/hair, jumps on my head etc and yeah it hurts but you have to control yourself as the adult in that situation, and gently but firmly say "no that hurts" and hold them at arms length so they can't reach your hair. I only reserve a firm voice for serious situations, so even when my little one was a baby he let go fairly quickly - but you have to control yourself while you get them off, because hitting a baby is absolutely never ever ever ok; not to mention you're only reinforcing the message that "we are violent to the people we love".

But in regards to your baby, just chill. It's not a big deal in the scheme of things; it's very normal for babies to bite at this age, and they'll grow out of it. Just remember it's probably because they're feeling passionate but don't know how to show it yet.

Why would the Health Visitors try to get you to stop breastfeeding? Can you clarify why they are even involved? Most kids only see a HV at newborn stage then again for their 2 year check. I wouldn’t be forcing a stop to breastfeeding unless you are both ready!

Don’t worry about the pulling hair/biting - they haven’t necessarily learnt what is appropriate or how strong they are. Take it as a sign of affection and try to gently discourage them.

Do try to avoid the physical response if you can, not only is it very disconcerting for both of you, but it isn’t likely to modify the behaviour. It also might escalate and you don’t want to do something worse.

Hard when they’re driving you mad, but reacting with physicality is one thing to try and avoid. If you need to, put him down SAFELY and go make a tea or whatever and come back to calm down. That’s the advice if you are struggling and feel like you’re going to hurt them. Might be worth a check in with the dr for your own mental health too.

It’s one time, he won’t remember but you will. Use it to grow as a parent!

Well, where I live, they have a one year check. And this came off the back of that.

Fair enough, I’m sure different regions do different things. It’s a remarkably weird thing to suggest since the WHO and NHS recommend up to age 2 (or beyond). I would do whatever you want in this situation, ignore the HV!