AIBU?

[Ajt34]

My baby girl has just turned 4 and she is the best thing on this planet!
My partner has been with us since she was 12 months old and she calls him daddy, which is what he is..an amazing, caring, kind man.
He has 2 older children, his son is 16, his daughter is 12. His daughter was very much a big part of our lives from the get go however recently, it's gone sour because of her mother. However my question is..am I being unreasonable?..

I found a snapchat video on my step daughters account. The video entailed her and my young child in my home bathroom (she is filming it on her phone), she takes my child's onesie off and tells her to 'have a wee', completely exposing her. Since this, I have been so angry, and I dont want her near my child. I tried to speak to her mother, who just made excuses. Her dad (my partner) who also sees my child as his own has agreed that she will never step foot in our home again.

What would you do? Advice needed.

I would get advice from somewhere like the NSPCC. You need advice on how to talk to your 4 year old about what happened, and her father needs advice on how to talk to your 12 year old stepdaughter. As much as she seems so big and grownup next to a four year old, she's still just a child herself – as a family, you need to understand why she did what she did, and how to explain to her how serious it was. And then you probably all need support to figure out how to move forward. (But unless there is more to it than described here, I suspect it is unreasonable to never let in her her father's house again.)

This . She’s 12?! I think your DP’s response is problematic to say the least. Have you spoken to your step daughter?