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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Advice on how to stop ds biting anyone? He took the cats nose half off yesterday so something has to be done

17 replies

PinkTulips · 04/04/2008 21:57

and no i'm not exaggerating! the cat is badly wounded and ds got badly scrarched on the face for his efforts.

he bit me on the leg a week and a half ago through jeans and i still have the mark.

he's 20 months old so too little to understand that it hurts us and only laughs at me when i yell (a side affect of having a naughty older sister is that he's immune to shouting voices)

have tried naughty chair but short of pinning him too it he seems to be too young to grasp that too. taking a toy just means he screches for 20 secs and then potters off to play with something else.

have tried slapping him lightly on the hand but he thinks it's a game and i'm not willing to slap him hard enough to hurt him.

any ideas?

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HonoriaGlossop · 04/04/2008 22:17

oh dear. I'm afraid i'm going to suggest the almost impossible when you have two kids, but I think you just need to supervise

You can't possibly police where the cat is all day long and even if you leave ds in a room where the cat ISN'T, you can bet the cat will be in or ds will be out in under a second

When it's you he's biting or someone else, I think at 20 months a stern No is all you need coupled with immediately walking away from him, or putting him down or whatever.

Naughty chair/taking a toy are just too punitive IMO and he's too young to 'get' what you're doing; also this isn't about a child needing punishment - he just needs to be given the opportunity to learn - this is learning, not naughtiness.

pedilia · 04/04/2008 22:21

DD is 15 months and is going through a biting stage, the dog,cat, siblings etc

I use a very firm NO which she understands and put her down or leave the room immediatly, this is what she understands and she in now doing it less and the look on her face when she does suggests to me that she knows it is something she should not do

busymum1 · 04/04/2008 22:32

my ds2 is 19 mths and does this too, we now tell him NO and turn away from him, he gets upset to see us ignoring him and will kiss better although not completely stopped definitely better we also try to look upset so he understands how we feel

cruisemum1 · 04/04/2008 22:42

echo busymym1 - my 109mo ds thinls itg is hilarious to bite but we take a very dim fview of it. We now say no very sharply and ignore it nd it seems towork
scse terible typing. just dashing ofg to bed"

Original poster

PinkTulips · 04/04/2008 22:58

i should have said... this has been going on since he was about 6 months old. i've tried NO etc but he just giggles and goes to bite again and wraps himself around your legs if you try to move away, hence why i tried the naughty step a few time to try and physically keep him from grappling with me.

i had some success when he was biting during bf by ending the feed and now he rarely tries that but still does it at other times.

the problem with ignoring him is that alot of the time he's biting me because i won't let him do/play with a something or because i'm busy cooking or cleaning and he's feeling ignored already.

other times he gets over excited when hugging and kissing and bites (i think this is what happened with the cat, i was at the cooker and didn't see the cat come in the room. normally he's not allowed near the cat for both their safety so he must have gotten over excited when he got close enough to cuddle him)

he's a great man for kissing it better once he knows he's hurt you but he still does it.

he's not attention starved, until last week he had 2 parents in the house with him almost constantly and he gets alot of attention from both of us but he seems to do it to draw a reaction alot of the time.

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busymum1 · 05/04/2008 14:04

you will just have to ignore no attention stops it a lot quicker than negative attention just keep hanging in there

Miggsie · 05/04/2008 15:38

oh gosh, well I have never done this myself but my neighbour recommends giving him a nice big bar of soap to bite on!
Apparently it cured her DD in one go!

Original poster

PinkTulips · 05/04/2008 18:01

pmsl... i can imagine his face if i tried it.

[sigh] will just have to hope he snaps out of it when he's bigger and can understand more of what we say.

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MadameCh0let · 05/04/2008 21:19

My two year old keeps biting my bum and I'm getting fed up with it. It's not funny, it's sore, I get quite scared, when I'm making a sandwich up against the counter and I can't escape. He always sinks his fangs into me and he gets a really good purchase on my arse before he really clamps down. ouch. Then he gives me a big hug! He knows he's hurt me but he can't resist.

ReallyTired · 05/04/2008 21:43

Its sounds like the cat punished the child suitably. Poor cat.

I know this is grossly unpopular, but I think for something really nasty like biting I would put him in a playpen as time out for a minute.

Its hard as they can't understand explanation and smacking is out of fashion.

WendyWeber · 05/04/2008 22:06

I think I would grab him, shout NO!!!!! in his face, hold him at arm's length, rush upstairs, dump him in his cot - for much longer than a minute - and slam the door on him.

Repeat as necessary.

I'm amazed the cat didn't do more damage to be honest.

Miggsie · 05/04/2008 22:12

DD bit DH ONCE! And laughed.
He went ballistic.
She was terrified and burst into tears.
She never did it again, she knew she had done wrong and her daddy being cross with her is something she cannot take so that is all it took. DH was yelling "have you EVER seen me or mummy bite ANYONE!? We do not bite!!! Not in this house!"

Is there something equally momentous for your DS to get it into his head?

The following is opne the family crises brought out at every family gathering: My aunt was constantly bitten by her daughter and it went on for months, and one day she had had enough and turned round and bit her daughter back! The doctor said what she had done was terrible because it had not taught the daughter biting was bad as oyu cannot treat violence with violence etc etc, but the thing is, the daughter never bit anyone again... So the debate continues ad infinitum in our family as to whether this was valid or only produced the desired result by accident.

Discuss if you wish.

jennster · 05/04/2008 22:24

And cat will certainly avoid your ds for a bit. DD now 2y2m was biting quite a bit from about that age when ds was 2 months old. She has stopped mostly now. She pretends to do it but doesn't actually do it. I know how you feel. DS had a bite mark on his gorgeous chubby cheeks for a week. It's horrible, and the look on their grinning face! He will grow out of it. I know that doesn't help now.

SmugColditz · 05/04/2008 22:33

go ballistic. shouty "stop that right now!" voice won't work, he's seen you use that on older sibling and isn't Bovvered. You need to SCREAM - not at him, just react how a 2 year old would react - the loudest scream you can muster, hide your face, and ignore him while you 'be upset'.

It was the only way I could stop my 23 month old hitting with objects!

kbaby · 06/04/2008 10:11

Migsie- I ddi something similar with DD when she once bit me. I was carrying her and sh bit my shoulder, I was so shocked because she had never done it before I instantly put her to the ground and said ' you do not bite me' and walked off. I think I shocked her because it was so unexected and she never bite again.

Her little brother by contrast is a biter and no amount of telling off works so maybe it was the surprise and shock element of being told off that stopped dd doing it. Now just have to think of what to do With DS

Original poster

PinkTulips · 06/04/2008 11:54

i have screamed hysterically at him and that was a week before he bit the cat so it obviously didn't scare him much at all!

the stupid cat seems to have decided to forgive him unfortunately... tbh the cat is partly to blame as he knows not to go near ds as ds can be very rough but when he wants food he'll suck up to anyone.

it's awful though as he does bite dd who's only 3 when he wants a toy she has. he obviously knows it's not nice if he uses it as a weapon like that.

last month he woke me up one morning by biting me on the face and he got seriously shrieked at that time as well as i'm cranky when i wake up, even when someone hasn't justy taken a chunk out of my cheek!!!! he rarely gets upset at being screamed at though.

miggsie... have heard about that method before and people say it really does work but i doubt it would with ds... if you slap his hand he slaps back so i'd rather not find out what happens if he gets bitten!

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MrsFreedy · 10/04/2008 13:16

We had the same problem just over a year ago when our twins were taking chunks out of each other. The method that worked for us was to give the bitter some English mustard on their tongue and it really worked. When they were in a good mood I sat both of them down explained what mummy would do if they carried on biting and gave them a taste of the mustard. The next time they bit I gave the bitter mustard, not a lot but just enough and although it did not stop the bitting completely (rest asured he will grow outof it)they thought twice before biting each other.

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