Ds 4 very messed up after move to europe

[gonepearshaped]

Previously happy ds is going into meltdown following our move from UK (five weeks ago). I know its all very new but he's biting, kicking, throwing stuff and screaming the place down when ever he doesn't get own way.

He's just started at intnl school and finding it hard, says he never wants to go back and that he puts hand over his ears so he can't hear the teacher.

teachers say he is fine in class but struggles in playground. DS tells me other kids won't play with them and that he doesn't want to play with anyone but is BF (one kid we've done play dates with). Is bereft when BF plays with others.

I'm very worried bout ds and feel v.guilty cause we came here for my job, I think I'm making things worse over analysing and talking too much to him bout it but I've no idea how to help him and under lots pressure myself so coping badly.

He's an only child and has never been good at group situations - fine one to one. Aggression etc all directed at me - he's very angry and finally today admitted he hates it here apart from the ice-cream.

Any thoughts much appreciated.

I think the more certain you are that this is right, and this is IT, the better for him; he will feel more unsettled if he senses you are in conflict about it in your mind....

I think you just need to ride out this time TBH. One of DS' friends at school had I'm sad to say a really challenging first year when his family came over from Europe, he struggled with the language and his behaviour was appalling. He was the class thug.

Actually, one year on, he's settled, and speaks English beautifully, and he is clearly very bright indeed and his behaviour is fine.

I think your ds just has to go through this settling phase and though it's gut wrenching for you I don't think you can expect anything else for a bit really.

I'd say don't talk to him too much about it - it's a fact, he will have to adapt (if that's the case and you don't want to come back!) so the brighter and breezier you are the better, though of course I'm not saying he won't need the odd heart to heart.

Good luck.