I think my 9 year old son has ODD/ ADHD

[Anonymous94]

Hi, I’ll start by saying that as a young child my eldest son was always the most lovely, caring and kind child, then around 18 months ago it all started to go downhill. My son is now 9 and I’m at a complete loss at what to do, regarding my son who displays every single symptom of ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). He has never been assessed for ADHD or any other disorder of any kind, as I’m aware it can be associated with another disorder like ADHD. His behaviour all seemed normal until around 18 months ago when he started to become very verbally aggressive, spiteful, not listening completely, being rude to almost everyone, vindictive and impulsive, amongst a complete list of other things. I’ve been doing research and this disorder matches my son to a T. Does anyone have any suggestions or children with this that can advise me on how to manage his behaviour please? At his dad’s he’s so well behaved but when he’s at home or at his nans or out in public he’s like a different child. His dad thinks that it’s down to me not being strict enough but I just know that there’s more to it than that. I will be making a GP appointment next week but I’m almost certain he has this disorder and I’m worried for himself and anyone who he may eventually hurt due to his extreme, impulsive and irrational anger. He comes from a lovely home and family, he’s always been shown love and affection and I just can’t understand why this behaviour is happening.

Thank you for reading

Did the change in behaviour coincide with an ear, or throat infection? Look into PANDAS.

Hi, no it all just seemed to have gotten beyond the point of usual child behaviour to out of control behaviour around 18 months ago, just after he turned 7. He’s now 9 and this is where we are at. We’ve tried reward charts, incentives, highlighting positive etc but no matter what we do he just doesn’t respond to it.

Hi there! I'm having a very similar experience with my son whonis also 9. He is awaiting ADHD assessment. School feel its likely that he has it. I am worried about ODD too. He only displays the behaviour at home and holds it together in other situations but his communications with us are out of control. He swears, makes violent threats, hits his younger brothers usually completely unprovoked. Like your son, he is from an extremely loving, patient and secure home and his behaviour just doesn't reflect the way we've tried to raise him. His 3 brothers do not display these behaviours. It's causing a huge amount of stress and upset and i don't know what to do. This has been becoming increasingly worse since he was about 4. Before that he was a dream child. Really chilled and loving. He still is a lovely boy and it's upsetting as I know he doesn't really want to be upsetting his parents and I worry his self esteem will be impacted because he is told off so frequently! I just wanted to share anyway as I'm finding when I vent to friends etc they can't really relate as their children are not behaving in such a challenging manner.

Do any of you have an update on how things have gone and any strategies that have helped?