Out of Control Tantrums 22 months

[M00ving]

My 22mo girl has started having the worst melt downs and I am not sure how to deal with them. The smallest thing can set her off and from there whatever I do is the wrong thing and she just screams louder and louder and becomes very aggressive, hitting and pushing away, throwing herself to the ground and just generally screaming no over and over so loud.

Any tips on how to diffuse the situation? It has only just began getting like this so it is yet to happen in public but I already feel terrified of taking her anywhere incase she kicks off!

I just came here because we’re having the same issues. Seems to be normal for toddlers. What a pain. My DS is 24 months and a little demon.

It is frustrating, but the best thing you can do now is understand what is going on in his/her brain.
She has come across something that has not gone the way she wanted and she is frustrated. However she does not know yet how to deal with that anger, and the only way that can come out is the only way they know at the moment: the tantrum. She does not understand what is going on and why she's feeling the rage inside.
Sit by her/his side or close by.
If it lets you talk to her do so. Tell her you understand how she's feeling " I understand you wanted this/that to happen but is not possible at the moment". And stay by her side or close by. Do not let her hurt you. If she tries to do so just calmly let her her know you are no's going to allow her to hurt you and remove yourself from close distance so avoid she kicking you.
Let her know you are there is she needs you and when you see she has started to descalate offer her comfort/hug.
You can always try breathing exercises (they do work and they are brilliant!). They help them focus and take out their inner frustration - same as for adults/meditation like.
Do not try to hold her/him against his wishes... This will only make them feel more trap in that rage and escalate behaviour. The only thing would be to removed them from danger or a particular situation if is not going to be solved quick.
Try as much as possible to keep calm, sit up right, put yourself on a position of leadership and you will be sending calming thoughts her/his way (mimic behaviour).
That's how you'll teach them to deal with that frustration and you'll feel better because you will understand what is actually happening in her little brain.
Good luck!

Ps. Any threats will only make her feel worse and escalate behaviour i.e "if you don't stop, I'm going". She can't stop because self calming is not a skill she has learnt yet :)

Entirely normal and most people seeing this happen will either ignore you or support you, and those that don't aren't with your time anyway.
Keep it calm same accept the inevitable. These aren't the worst, just the worst so far.