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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What should I tell my DS about sex?

17 replies

wheresmyAga · 03/04/2008 20:28

My DS (aged 7) has just asked me to explain what sex means. DD (10) has been teasing him about not knowing - she's recently covered it at school so has some idea ? and he feels silly/curious. I've told him about special cuddles between adults who love each other, but should i go into more detail? He is asking me to tell him more. I'm a single parent and DCs don't see their dad much.

OP posts:

sushistar · 03/04/2008 20:29

Tell him the truth I reckon. He's old enough to ask a reasonably well informed question, he's probably old enough for a reasonably well informed answer. Obviously not all the indepth stuff, but maybe the basics of how babies are made?

claricebeansmum · 03/04/2008 20:30

If he is asking then tell him. Keep it truthful but not scary!

There are some really good books out there too that he can pour over in his own time. We have a couple lying around that DC mull over every now and then.

Rolypole · 03/04/2008 20:31

I reckon it's ok to go into a bit more detail at that age, could you try a book? I seem to remember having one with sperm in top hats, which was silly but meant we got the basics without too much embarassment from Mum.

claricebeansmum · 03/04/2008 20:32

Sperm in top hats?
Why top hats?
Posh sperm?

"Have sex with a toff, darling, they dress for sex!"

Rolypole · 03/04/2008 20:36

yep, and I think they had roses between their teeth too. Maybe this is all my fevered brain tho, it was a while back and I certianly haven't had any contact with Eton-educated sperm since then.

sushistar · 03/04/2008 20:38

The book I had a child had pics of happy lady/man kissing, then you turned the page... and the diagram of the actual act was a blue robot and a red robot. The blue robot had what looked like a dyson hose...

we were quite confused by this for some time.

May I suggest a book with sensible drawings?

Rolypole · 03/04/2008 20:38

don't know how to do link-y things but this was the one: www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539
Where did I come from by peter mayle

sushistar · 03/04/2008 20:39

We really liked the pics of the baby developing in the tummy. That was our favorite boit - to be honest I think sex was not as interesting as that bit.

mollymawk · 03/04/2008 20:42

I agree you can give him the general facts - and a book would help.

I remember learning about sex at about 7 years old. Someone got me a book about kangaroos for my birthday and it had a reproduction section. So my mother leapt at the chance to tell me "ah yes, and it's just like that for people too".

(Obviously as a result now I only find a man attractive if he has won my favours in a boxing match. And was shocked when I didn't give birth from a pocket of my cardigan. But otherwise she was approximately right.)

harpsichordcarrier · 03/04/2008 20:43

just tell him, after all you know the facts yourself it's not like having to explain the Big Bang or something
keep it simple and factual and don't blush

mollymawk · 03/04/2008 20:44

sushistar - I agree - my DS1 (age 4) loves those pictures in my Pregnancy and Birth book. He hasn't asked at all what makes the egg start growing though.

harpsichordcarrier · 03/04/2008 20:45

mollymawk that is just wishful thinking on your mum's part
kangaroo reproduction is much better designed than human.
the joey crawls down the birth canal by itself when it is still tiny and attaches itself to the teat in the pouch

Rolypole · 03/04/2008 20:55

pre-top hatted sperm book, my teacher had tried the 'it's just the same with people' line, but as the example was ladybirds it didn't clarify matters. First I thought the daddy gave the mummy a piggyback round the garden, then I thought it must be anal sex cos I didn't know about vaginas. I vow to tell my dd as soon as possible to save her all this trouble

mollymawk · 03/04/2008 21:05

Ah yes, it's all coming back to me now. [wonder that book has got to?] I am currently 34 wks pg. I wonder if it's too late to apply to become a marsupial?

kategarden · 03/04/2008 21:21

DD has a great book - called 'How did I begin' see here - not too twee, but not too explicit either.
Living on a farm helps too - lots of discussion about getting the goats in kid which dd inevitably overhears. I do confess to being a bit floored by the 'what does castrated mean?' question though . . . (so why can why that billy stay with the nanny goats, mum? )

Original poster

wheresmyAga · 03/04/2008 22:22

Thank you all.

DD is an expert (so she thinks) after devouring all my old baby mags. I explained the mechanics (including love in the equation) to her ages ago, and it was easy, but somehow it was much tricker telling DS. Not sure why. Guess I'm wary of having to tackle puberty-related issues with him later on - can't rely on XP for this so will have to get my head around it. Hopefully not for a couple of years .

OP posts:

cory · 04/04/2008 07:56

I have relied heavily on David Attenborough for this one (no, not personally!), but have taken pains to explain that with humans it's a lot gentler and cuddlier than with lions or red deer.
Oh, and I did explain to him that doing the Bactrian camel dance is not going to help him be a success in getting the girls later on. This is essential!

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