Giving toddlers their own way

[lumberjackie]

I'm just interested in how others approach this (I'm sure) common toddler issue.

What do you do when your 2 or 3 year old wants something irrational and sometimes inconvenient, but not actually harmful?

Some examples:

• I come downstairs with his shoes, he demands a different pair of shoes, which means going upstairs to swap them over.
• He asks repeatedly for a specific snack e.g a type of fruit not junk food
• He wants to do or play something e.g another story when we were about to go out (imagine no particular time pressure in this example)

So all things where the request is demanding but not actually unhealthy/dangerous.

What approach do you take?

1. Let them have want they want, they're their own people and there's no need to override their opinions any more than necessary for the sake of being 'the boss'

Or

2. Stand firm and say no, they need to learn they can't just have everything they want on demand, they'll get spoilt.

1. Offer a choice of two things usually helps give them some sense of control once they reach the toddler stage. So show them two outfits that you've already chosen as suitable and ask them which one they'd like to wear. Same with the shoes.

1. Is just give him the fruit of you have it. If not and he keeps asking for it I'd get him some in.

3 if there was no particular time pressure I'd probably let him have another story. Are you turning going out into a game though so it becomes more fun?