Wits end with toddler

[HR313]

I have a 2.5 year old who is stubborn, strong willed - shouts and screams all day and launches herself at her 7 year old sister (who is the complete opposite - gentle, caring and not a malicious bone in her body). The other day my youngest hit my eldest so hard in the face she gave her a nose bleed. We kept saying no we must not hurt our sister and to use kind hands (she knows what this means).

Anyway, the straw that has broken the camels back is yesterday youngest didn’t nap, she usually has an hour in the afternoon but we were busy and it just didn’t fit in to when we would be driving in the car (which normally sends her to sleep). She went down at 7pm but woke at 1am. She was awake from 1am-5.15am when I had to take her in the car for my own sanity. We have never had to do this with her!! She then slept until 8am whilst I ended up getting ready for work. She isn’t potty trained yet but knows after she’s done a wee she will say ‘mummy I need a wee’ we are having several accidents of her leaking through a day, her nappies fit - so spend most of my day cleaning up after her. We don’t make a big fuss but it’s just another thing to deal with.

She goes to nursery 3 days a week but for the past two weeks started pre school on a weds morning for a few hours as I actually can’t cope being around her anymore due to how aggressive and demanding she is. Nursery and pre school says she has a wonderful time there but the way she is at home is the complete opposite. As a family we feel like we are walking on eggs shells around her, we try and be firm but get screamed and shouted at. I’m exhausted, so much so I sent my work an email today saying I just can’t manage my chaotic family life and working part time. I feel run down and depressed. I honestly can’t see her behaviour/sleep etc ever improving. Our eldest was never like this, so I am having to parent completely different which due to sleep deprivation I am not able to do effectively. I feel utterly broken. I don’t know what I am asking, other than I know it’s tough having kids but just never thought I would hate being a mother so much (to my youngest that is) I feel awful that I brought them into the world 😞

I recognise and am currently experiencing most of what you mention. I feel like a terrible mum tonight after shouting and saying how much I hate spending time with my toddler (the last two weeks). Illnesses, changes in childcare and a developmental stage have all coincided - the last week has been particularly rough. I just wanted to say you’re not on your own, if you find any solutions please let me know x

Thank you, I really needed to hear this. I’ve shouted at both my children this morning - stressing about the school run, multiple things to remember. I just feel at my lowest ebb right now. I spoke to my manager and he wasn’t particularly helpful. We have a team ‘away day’ tomorrow which I really can’t face but he thinks it will be beneficial for me. I’m sleep deprived, angry, fed up and it’s the last thing I want to do. I just can’t juggle motherhood and working part time but can’t afford not to work. It’s killing me 😞

I could have written your post myself, my nearly 3yo is exactly the same…we’ve tried everything with her to try and curb the behaviour but nothing seems to work! Today for example I told her we needed to get out of the bath so I could cook her tea, she shouts ‘NO’ repeatedly, tried to throw a watering can full of water at me, realised I was going to take her out whether she was going to listen or not and so she smacked me across the face and then spat at me. Admittedly today’s been an especially rough day, and some days she can be lovely and cooperative, but I have no idea if it’s our parenting or if all kids this age are like that…don’t really know what the point of this comment is aside from to let you know you’re not alone!

I assume it gets better at some point as people always coo over her in public and tell me they miss theirs being this small 🤷‍♀️

We are at the same stage 😣 2.8 year old and feel like we are failing atm