What to do with a baby that wants to do his main feeding at night?

[LolaLadybird]

DS is 4 months old and formula-fed. He has slept through the night on several occasions but currently isn't. I'm convinced that this is because he often gets in the routine of snacking during the day (only 3-4 oz at some feeds) and is then starving at night. It's a vicious circle because he then wakes up in the morning fairly satisfied and the whole cycle repeats itself. It's definitely hunger rather than comfort waking him as he drains a bottle and is v easy to settle afterwards.

The thing is, how do I reverse the cycle so he feeds properly during the day and not at night? And, as an aside, am I maybe expecting too much from him, wanting him to sleep through at this age?

Go out for long walks during the day to make sure he leaves big gaps between his feeds - then he'll take more than the 3-4oz?

You'll need to do this for several days but it might work...plenty of exercise for you as you stride round the local streets.

And yes - prob too young to sleep thru

Try setting routine give feeds at same time every day, and try a dream feed at 11pm if you can or don't already. As gagarin suggested get out and about to distract you and baby in the day. Not too young to sleep through my dd has from 9 weeks and was BF. I firmly beleive in routine, it's hard at first but works really well if you stick to it.

Well today was day one of trying to go longer between feeds (which does sound v sensible) and it didn't go well. He did at least 4 hours between feeds but still only took a total of 16 oz over 5 feeds. Needless to say, I am expecting to be up a lot tonight. I will keep trying over the next few days though to see if it helps. He has been out of sorts as he had his 4-month jabs on Tuesday but the day/night feeding was a problem before then.

I am going to give him a dream feed tonight although perhaps about 10ish as not sure I can stay awake until 11! Last night he woke himself at 9.30 pm and that did keep him going until nearly 4 am.

Guinea - how strict a routine do you keep to? I do try and keep some structure but DD1 is two and a half so it's difficult to stick to a routine with nursery pick-ups, toddler group etc. Fantastic that your DD slept through the night from 9 wks - I always thought that forumla fed babies were supposed to be quicker to sleep through the night but DD was bf for 9 months and probably fed less at night than DS when I think back.

Hi well done at trying new routine Give it a good couple of weeks to really see changes. 4 hours between feeds sounds about right, and as he gets used to feeding in the day will hopefully start to take more at each feed. Our routine was by no means by the clock, just used to try and do feeds/naps at around the same time every day, and we have done the same bedtime routine since she was 8/9 weeks. (Now 19 months) Bit scared to change it as it works so well!! I appreciate it must be more difficult with a toddler as well. The best book I ever brought is the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. It has helped us with lot's of things. It has suggested routines in there and other helpful hints. Your local library may have a copy? I recommend it to any one.
Good luck tonight, I'll pop back tomorrow

As he seems to be snacking in the day I would suggest you try and cut the night feeding down. One way to do this (as you are bottle feeding) might be to offer a slightly diluted bottle if he wakes in the night - e.g. if he usually takes 7oz bottle in the night maybe make the bottle up with 7 oz of water and only say 4 scoops of formula for a bit and after a while only offer water. I would think it'll take a few days of trying to go longer periods between feeds and reducing the night feeds for you to see any improvement.

Re routines - I kept to a fairly strict routine with DD2 even though I had to fit round all of DD1's activities etc. I think if you have in mind basic times that seem to work well for feeds and naps etc you can work round it with some flexibility. At 4 months I fed DD2 at approx 7.30 am, 11am, 2.30pm and then before and after her bath before bed at 7pm and naps were approx 9 - 10 am and 12.30 - 2.30pm. I never had a problem sticking to feed times as I'd just feed wherever we were. The morning nap was often in the pushchair or sling if we were out and about and once DD1 started nursery (when DD2 was 6 months) which has pick up at noon, I'd give milk and some some solids at 11.15 ish then we'd pick up DD1 and be back home by 12.30 when DD2 would go straight to bed for her nap.

4 months is definitely not too early for some babies to sleep through (like Guinea both my DDs slept through by 9 wks and I bf) but of course all babies are different, maybe we were just lucky!

Thanks all for the advice. Today has been better. In the end I managed to last until 11 last night so fed DS then - he took a full feed and slept until 5.30 am. Now, if I'd been feeding him at 5.30 I'd have succumbed and given him his normal feed but DH took charge and only gave him 2 oz (I think he'd had enough of me complaining about the night waking/feeding and had been listening to me talking vaguely about cutting back how much I gave DS at night). Predictably DS wasn't happy and cried on and off until about 6.15 am (v difficult to listen to) but he then fell asleep until 7.00. When I fed him at 7.15 he took 6 oz which was great as he's not usually hungry then and today he's been feeding better - between 5 and 7 oz at each feed culminating in a full bottle at bedtime. I'll wake him again for a dream feed tonight and I know it's going to take more than a day to crack but I'm feeling optimistic.

Guinea - I've got the Baby Whisperer book and I too am a fan. V good book for helping you understand what your baby is telling you. I started off quite well with the strucure when DS was a few weeks old but I think we've let things slip.

Nelly - really helpful to hear how you make a routine work with 2. I think I've been using the fact that I have an older child as a bit of an excuse for not having a routine but I probably just need to make a bit more of an effort.

Interestingly, I disappeared for a morning's shopping this morning (bliss !) and left DH holding the fort. By the time I got back just after 1 pm, both children were well-fed and napping peacefully in their bedrooms. DH looked v smug and said (tongue in cheek) that he didn't know what I did all day because the whole childcare thing was a breeze!

Typical - but you should look smug - neither child could be bothered to keep awake as their mummy wasn't there

Sounds as though you're grabbing back control of feeds now and hopefully ds will carry on improving bit by bit...

You're right it is typcial - I would love to come home and find chaos and a slightly stressed looking DH but it never happens as he is too laid back (and if it did, he probably wouldn't be so happy for me to disapper for the morning!).

Anyway, the good news is that after the dream feed at 11pm last night, DS slept until 7 am this morning - fantastic . I'm hoping this is the shape of things to come (until weaning, a tooth or some new found skill such as rolling over spoil things!!).

Hey great news LLB, really pleased to hear that you have got back into routine. It's amazing what a bit of strong will and MN moral support can achieve! Pat self (and DH!!) on back!