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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

running off

13 replies

southutsire · 03/04/2008 11:53

Ds is just 20 months and as soon as he could walk (at 15 months) has never been one to stay nearby when we're out, say, in a park. He just picks a direction (usually towards something potentially dangerous) and runs off in it. I've tried staying where I am, saying 'bye!', pretending to walk off in another direction, etc. He doesn't really care, and will happily wave 'bye' back before continuing on his way into the distance. Inevitably I end up having to peg it after him before he gets to the pond/huge barking dog/gate to the road... which obviously he thinks is hilarious and a jolly good game. I do want him to have plenty of freedom and explore but, well, a bit closer to me! Oddly he is happy to hold my hand along the road or be in the buggy, but there's no happy medium where he stays in my general vicinity.

Or is it 'just a phase'...? What should I be doing?! Other children his age seem to want to keep their parents in sight.

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Original poster

southutsire · 03/04/2008 12:54

just bumping before I go out, hoping for some tips

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Nanoon · 03/04/2008 13:40

its great that he is confident enough to run around rather than hang off your leg.

my DS1 is 3.6 so a fair bit older but one method that i have always used whn i want him to come back to me is to get his attention telling him i have found something intersting, for example bending down and calling to him waht a lovely leaf if have found or there is a little bird in a bush - sonething like that. Once he is back with me i then try and keep is attention talkjing about other things we can see etc whilst we get ready to leave or move on.

I have found the older he gets the more defiant he is, and like your DS he thinks its hysterical if i have to run after him. Not funny when i;m legging it to his with DS2 ouncing around in the pram.

hth

Original poster

southutsire · 03/04/2008 20:05

thanks for the reply - I'll try engaging him a bit more!

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tiredandnowty · 03/04/2008 20:25

Here was me thinking my DD (20 months) was the only one to do that !!! Every other toddler seems to wander around places at the ankles of their parents, but DD just runs off like your DS. Here's hoping that they'll calm down a it at some point. It can be a nightmare can't it !!

Original poster

southutsire · 03/04/2008 20:46

Glad it's not just ds tiredandnowty... it's weird as he gets very upset indoors - had a big cry yesterday when I went to make a cup of tea for my in-laws (who he sees quite often) and left him in the living room with them.

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chamaeleon · 03/04/2008 20:49

get some reins. and if you want to give him more room buy one of those extending dog leads and attach it to the reins.

Original poster

southutsire · 03/04/2008 21:02

Tried reins - he just goes all floppy on them and won't even stand up. Thanks for the suggestion though.

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lilQuidditchKel · 04/04/2008 14:27

my 25mo DS is (and has been) just like this. sooo maddening especially when you've another LO in the pram which you don't want to leave in order to sprint after your wayward child...!

only thing which helped me at all was discipline as follows: explain very firmly and consistently, every time he is out with me and not strapped into the buggy: stay by Mama - hold on to the buggy - or you have to sit in the buggy. When he runs off he goes in the buggy. Ditto if we are walking somewhere and he lets go of the buggy - right into it. After awhile or the next day we can try again. Sometimes he does walk nicely and/or play near me, so I reckon the strategy helps at least sometimes. And he's out of danger when he's not in a cooperative mood...

I don't relish the thought of having to use a double buggy for the next 5 years though...

chamaeleon · 04/04/2008 17:35

mine used to go floppy until they realised it was reins or buggy. if you are that worried about him running off then just be firm. if he goes floppy put him back in the pram. if he kicks off at that tell him he has to have his reins on. doesnt take long for them to learn

Mum1369 · 04/04/2008 18:01

I thought it was just mine too.Don't want you to lose all hope but my DS1 is nearly 3 and still does it - tried everything to no avail. Tried giving him some freedom to walk without holding my hand but he just waits then legs it, into the road usually. I have come to the conclusion that I will just have to hang on to him until he is a bit older.

brazilnutsyum · 04/04/2008 20:24

Yes have to say too that mine was exactly like this as soon as she could crawl and walk and is still the same :-(

All I can say is that you get used running/walking behind them constantly as they explore the surrounding 5 mile radius of where you actually are.

Sadly summer picnics are never much fun :-(

Mum1369 · 04/04/2008 22:38

Keeps you in trim, though - every cloud and all that

bobsi · 05/04/2008 17:00

My dd is the same - she's 2.5 now and has always been given freedom. Am wondering if I've given her too much now!!! Tried all the tricks, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. It's exhausting!!! I echo the comments about the reins, she just goes all floppy and tries to hang off them. She hates being in the buggy/trolley and whines until I give in. I do put her back in if she runs off but it's a constant battle and it wears me out. Dc no2 is due in 5 weeks and the running off is concerning me. Good luck

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