In today's angst-ridden society, how, and when, do you begin to 'let them off the leash' ?

[legacy]

DS1 is 8.5

I feel we should be beginning to give him opportunities for more self-responsibility. Let him do things for himself. Even begin to go places himself (even if it's just to a neighbour down the street etc).

But I have no idea how to begin to do this safely. He is also disorganised, easily distracted, and silly when with his friends, so I even worry about him getting run over when not looking in the car park.

I have friends who let their 10/11 year olds go to the park or cinema on their own, but I cannot imagine how DS would be ready for that in two years time?

How does it happen? What do I need to do?

I don't think you need to do anything yet. Ds is 10.5 and I let him go to the local shops sometimes but it's around the corner, there are no roads to cross and he has my mobile number

At 8.5 he wasn't allowed. I think a lot of people leave it until secondary school. Next year I will be happy for ds to walk to school as it's 10 minutes away and he will be 11.

Thanks WWW - do you think they mature a lot between 8 and 10? (I hope so!)

weeeeell, I wouldn't describe ds as mature exactly! But I do he's changed quite a bit from 8.5 to now.

I think they begin to mature a lot in year 5. I let my ds (nearly 10) go round the block on his bike and to the shop round the corner. He wants to go round the 'bigger block' as he calls it but I have said no as it involves a main road. I will let him walk to school on his own in year 6, which he is desperate to do.

Have to admit that I have let ds (7) walk down to local corner shop, but then I have had plenty of opportunity to observe him and know he is sensible with traffic. Also, this is going on his own, not with mates which might encourage him to show off and be silly.

Am happy for dd (11) to take herself and ds down to local library (when she is out of wheelchair), and to walk to school with him.

I wouldn't wait till secondary school but maybe until year 5 if you feel he is a bit young. And build up gradually.

Walking with them and playing the game of if your on your own this is what you do.

Walking behind them really playing the game of being on your own.

Then mobile contact and actually walking alone

Repeat stage 1 and 2 if you really feel the need, some parents do stumble at stage 2, but rest asured your dc will usually have some patients with you but dont push the patients past 4 attempts at stage 2 as this can lead to trouble...