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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS in trouble. Feel really uncomfortable but don't know what to do

19 replies

OrmIrian · 03/04/2008 11:03

Right. I have another problem with DS#1. Not only is he apparently at the risk of having an ASBO served against him , but he?s in trouble at school with some friends. I had a stressful morning, DD forgot her PE kit and DS#1 forgot his reading book (for which he?ll be in trouble) and I though he looked more unhappy than that would have merited. I was on my way into the reception playground with DS#2 just as the bell rang, to be collared by a very irate mother who asked me ?to stop your son spreading rumours that X (her DD) was pregnant?. I was very calm and suggested that it didn?t sound like my son and she admitted that it didn?t and she had been surprised when she found out that he was responsible. Apparently he had texted his friend (we?ll call him R shall we?) one evening that X was pregnant and that R (who is X?s gf - at 11 FGS!) should be careful. But then she went on to say ?originally I had blamed Z (X?s best friend and R?s bf - god this is complex) because she put in on Bebo? () but it appears it came originally from my DS. Now, I very much doubt that DS made I up, it would have come from somewhere else originally and he was acting like a stupid parrot, but surely the greatest offence was posting it online?

I made conciliatory and apologetic noises to mum and daughter who were both very upset but I suspect that more will be made of this. It was tacky and nasty and I shall be having strict words and taking his phone away from him if this is true . But what else can I do? DH thinks it?s a storm in a teacup, but he doesn?t have to go into school every morning [hmm

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WideWebWitch · 03/04/2008 11:04

Agree with your dh. Twas ever thus in the playground, hard to police imo

Original poster

OrmIrian · 03/04/2008 12:13

Thanks. The issue for me is that it was put on bebo. Thus taking it out of the plaground as it were. I am already beginning to think that other parents have been giving me funny looks...

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Original poster

OrmIrian · 03/04/2008 17:14

DS doesn't deny that he sent it 'as a joke'. Nice! Apparently 'everyone' ganged up on him and made him apologise. But no-one seemed the slightest bit shocked that this was posted in Bebo. And I grovelled to the mother ..again. DS very fed up and resentful at being the only guilty party. At least he had finished with his 'gf' over this (yes!).

What a f*ing awful day. Letter from police about kids in street last night, this today, work hassles in spades (and they just rang me again with a problem), and then my DD, her friend and DS#2 disappeared out of the school whilst I was grovelling to said mother and DS#1 and I spent half an hour panicking. Just about had enough.

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PenelopePitstops · 03/04/2008 17:42

yes its out of the playground, it was a joke, total over rreaction from other mother imo

assume he is in year 6 being 11?

Original poster

OrmIrian · 03/04/2008 17:48

Yep.

I am quite glad it's the last day of term. She also mentioned that her DH was really mad with him. Lives in very scary bit of town too. Oh help! I know I'm tall but I'm a total wimp.

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ScienceTeacher · 03/04/2008 17:52

I would cut his access to Bebo.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 03/04/2008 17:52

He hasn't got access to bebo. I'm not even entirely sure what it is. It wasn't him that posted it.

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Bridie3 · 03/04/2008 17:54

What was the letter from the police? That sounds worrying. Poor you. A bath and glass of vino sounds what you need.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 03/04/2008 17:56

I did the wine thing last night bridie So no more for now methinks.

All the houses in our street had a letter last night about anti-social behaviour. Which means kids playing out. I started a thread about that yesterday.All the children play in the street and up till recently it wasn't a problem - but apparently it is now.

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Bridie3 · 03/04/2008 18:05

OK--have some chocolate [clicks OrmIrian a large block]

My children play outside as often as I can force them out. I always did as well. We are not rough folk and neither are our neighbours; we just like to see children outdoors not in front of TVs.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 03/04/2008 18:40

Thanks for the chocolate bridie. Sadly Dh opened some wine anyway And a glass of wine has actually let out my inner mother tiger. The girl's mother actually had the nerve to say "Yes I was surprised to hear it was A. I always thought he was one of the ones who would eventually sort himself out." And I think I take exception to that. Does 'eventually' mean he's missed the boat. And does it also suggest that he's a lost cause. Should I deck her in the playground tomorrow?

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Bridie3 · 03/04/2008 18:41

Oh naughty DH.
She sounds like a cow.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 04/04/2008 07:56

DS#1 is now refusing to go to school because he had such a hard time yesterday. Which is a pita as he isn't exactly keen at the best of times. And he's afraid of losing his best mate who is the girl's bf - he's already lost one best friend at school in Yr 4 when he moved away.

Stupid load of nonsense and I'm so sick of it

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PenelopePitstops · 04/04/2008 12:29

omiram
it sounds awful for your poor ds, tbh i cant really see how much he has actually done wrong.

assure yr ds it will all blow over. The other mother sounds an interfering nightmare!

Original poster

OrmIrian · 04/04/2008 12:56

Thanks. He squared his shoulders and walked into school this morning absolutely miserable. He's a really kindly little soul, just did something a bit stupid and the whole world's come down round his ears The teacher made him apologise - for something that happened out of school
It will all be over soon as you say penelope - holidays start at 3 o'clock!

She is - she was very very angry with DS, couldn't seem to see that at least part of the problem was that her dd's best friend had posted it on bebo. But there we are. I can at least avoid her most of the time. Unfortunately her boy is in DS#2's class.

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PenelopePitstops · 04/04/2008 14:05

glad to hear the holidays start today, by the time they go back it will all be forgotten about!

Teachers being a bit unreasnonable too, but there you go, only an hour left for him!

The mother will have a short sharp shock when her precous LO goes to secondary school and this sort of thing becomes pretty commonplace!

Bridie3 · 04/04/2008 20:40

I think some teachers do (understandably in some cases) get a little tired by the end of term and snap at children. My daughter was accused of promulgating false rumours about when the term ended yesterday, to her complete bafflement.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 07/04/2008 10:39

Bit of an update.

The girl about whom DS made the comment was at the park yesterday when DS took his little brother to the swings. DS came rushing back home (DS#2 complaining loudly) pretending he'd hurt his ankle. 10 mins later the girl came and knocked on his door. DS was growling and looking unfriendly but I opened the door, asked her in and basically gave DS no choice but to be nice to her. DH said I should have left it but if anyone is innocent in all of this, she is, she's a lovely girl and she is one of the few children going to the same secondary school as DS in September. DS was a bit mutinous afterwards but i still think it was a good thing. And I think the girl showed great courage to do that. For all she knew I might have been as scary as her mother

bridie - I suspect the teacher did that to stop all the mutterings and arguments going on in the classroom. For which I suppose I don't really blame her.

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Original poster

OrmIrian · 23/04/2008 13:07

I spoke to the teacher yesterday. DS was really reluctant to go back to school after the hols. He has to sit at the same table with the kids involved in the 'unpleasantness'. So I asked the teacher to move him. They have their SATs this term and as it's also his last term I want to draw a line under it all. She agreed (they talk quite a bit anyway so she used that as a reason). DS was so relieved he went and thanked her afterwards.

DS has lost his best mate over this. I feel so sad for him.

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