DS2 has done something which could have got him into big trouble at school and I am unsure of what to do about it.

[MehgaLegs]

DS2 is 7 in a couple of weeks. He's in Yr2. Last year we were given an old desk by some friends. In the desk was a small stationary set which contained a mini craft knife with a very sharp snap off blade. I put the whole set away in a high cupboard in the study and thought no more about it until yesterday.

As we were leaving school a mum whom I am good mates with approached me. She was taking DS2's best mate (B) home (not her son she does a school run with his mum)She waved a blue plastic thing at me and asked if I knew that my DS2 had given it to B to borrow - it was the little craft knife! I was really embaressed and really shocked. I thanked her and assured her DS2 was not meant to have it and I'd be having words etc.. She is very easy going and didn't make a big deal.

DS2 was v. embaressed, I didn't persue it in the playground and said we'd talk about it in the car. he just kept saying "What? What?" And rolled his eyes.

He knows he he has done a bad thing. I told him that if an adult is found carrying a knife they would be in serious trouble. I also told him that if the teachers or head had seen it at school he would have been in serious trouble.

What would you do? He is a complicated soul. I can't tell if he has realised the gravity of what he did. I am tempted to phone the head and ask her to have a word with him although this would mortify him and that makes me feel bad.

I would have thought that you have done the right thing already. I'm sure that bringing the knife in was a pretty innocent in its motivation. And whatever front he puts on he probably does understand the depth of your shock at the idea of him bringing a knife to school.

Knives at school has a lot of emotional punch for us because of the awfulness of the consequences and because of the horror of knife culture. But for him, it was just a fun gadget to show to friends.

Luckily no-one was hurt and the mum who found it was very sensible and undramiatic.

Thanks TW - I have been thinking along those lines. Like you say it was just something to show his friends but I am also concerned that he took it, from a high cupboard which he doesn't need to be in, without asking and that was a bit sneaky. He knew it was a no no.

yes, what threadie said. As far as he was concerned it's rather like bringing a gameboy in - not allowed, but not utterly beyond the pale.
I'm very impressed at your restraint, though, I can never do that 'we'll discuss this later' thing without launching full-on rant.

Yes, a bit sneaky. It's upsetting when our dcs are dishonest, but only the most saintly of them are 100% truthful. I guess it's natural to want to explore the forbidden.

DS1 once locked himself in the bathroom (at about the same age as your son) to have a little go with his dad's razor. He managed to cut himself and was so aghast about what he had done that he just stayed locked in and bleeding, rather than let us know. Finally coaxed him out.

Hello onebat

oh onebat - he squirmed. I don't know what it is about DS2 that makes my heart bleed for him when he's in trouble. I think it's because he so hates a fuss and being centre of attention (for the wrong reason). A bit like myself I suppose.

Thank you both I love him to bits. I just don't want him to get into trouble. I hate to think what would have happened if a teacher had found it. Would hate for him to be labeled a trouble maker. Think he's just trying to be 'cool' and one of the boys in a class full of very dominant, rowdy boys, he is usually the quiet one.

Just want him to realise that knives are not cool obviously!

My wost ever son-with-a-lethal weapon incident is so awful that I'm afraid that if I posted it no one would believe it. They would think it a joke.

I think that's rather lovely mehga, I loathe myself for a really horrid desire to stamp on bad behaviour etc. I really struggle with not 'enforcing my will'- realizing that no-one has died, not end of world...

Hello Threadie I haven't been around a lot - got rather pffft with MN as well as having real life ghastlies to deal with.. are you well my dear?

Oh tell threadie..

Fine, thakns. Hope the real life stuff is better now.

Pffft because of bloodshed on threads or pffft because of shame and dismay at time wasted?

is it an Uzi story?

Go on Threadworm - make me feel better Was it one of those toddler with a knife type incidents DS4 VERY briefly got hold on the bread knife as I emptied the dishwasher once - cut my hand wrestling it from him.

i think at 7 and certainly not from the way you speak about him hes not gone to school 'armed with a blade' little boys do find sharp knives and weaponry stuff fascinating sometimes (my ds2 took a arabian dagger to show his teacher it was blunt and ornamental still not ideal tho )and i think youve handled it very well its much the same as letting your friend borrow your favourite doll or car but a bit more special,hs not done it to be malicious and although i agree he shouldnt have taken it youd put it up high but at least no hrm was done and perhaps this experience will put him off {for a while lol)
todays a whole new day - let it pass.

both really. shame and dismay v good descriptions but also: it all gets a bit .. just.. stupid sometimes, doesn't it? Like working in a dysfunctional office. Small talk. Shilly-shallying. Unpleasant digs. Powerplay.

Ok, I'll tell. But it is true, not a bad joke.

We had recently moved into a new house. In Ds's bedroom was an old walking stick. We left it in cupboard.

One day, DS (who was three at the time) had a gang of little pals round. They were playing in the bedroom.

One of the little pals came haring down the stairs brandishing ... I kid you not ... the walking stick, unsheathed, in its true form. It was a swordstick, of the raffish Victorian gentleman kind.

They had been playfighting.

I anguished about whether to tell the dc in question's mum (and forever blot my copybook with new neighbours.

Didn't tell.

Okay. Is it ground to air missile?

not.. nuclear?

mY DS (9) thinks that knives are 'cool.' On holiday there were knives in shop windows on display and he was fascinated. We had to drag him away from them. Is it a boy thing? Does anyone know?

damn, x post.

swordstick..!
You see, that exactly fits my idea of life chez Worm. I little chaotic but fundamentally .. cultured.

I once found the carving knife hidden under DD's bed (she was 5). I was so freaked -- imagined she was having awful nightmares and wanted it to ward off monsters or something. It transpired she was using it to crank the lid off a pot of hundreds and thousands which she'd stolen from the kitchen (she'd stashed the pot in her toy oven for safekeeping).

It was ghastly and dangerous, but not half as sinister as it first appeared, which may be the case with your ds... We had a grave chat, and that was the end of it.

That's what I should have told the dc's mum: Risky, yes, but in a fundamentally cultured way.

I've only read yor OP but this isn't a huge deal imo, tell him knives are v dangerous and he's most certainly not allowed them at school and that's the end of that. I wouldn't involve the head. He's only 6, doubt v v much there was any malicious intent.

MyEye. I love the idea of compounding the initial hundreds-and-thousands mini-crime with far-worse theft of a murderously sharp knife..

Thread - that is a much better story than my carving knife one.

I think you are right www, not a big deal but a bit shocking. I hope he understands that knives are bad. Obviously if it happened again I would have to take a different approach.