6 year old with behavioural issues. NEED advice ASAP

[mammaofone]

Hi
I was wondering if someone could advise me on this without judging me.
I have a six year old daughter. I'm a single parent and have her for most of the time. Her father has her time to time when it comes to some weekends or during the holidays.

My daughter's behavioural recently have turn bad to worse. She has been fighting in school and swearing.

I get a message from school almost everyday to say she has done something bad. I'm honestly so tired from this.

The school believe she is autistic and is waiting on her to get assessed.
I have been struggling a lot with her behaviour and finding it hard to cope as she directs at me when doesn't get her way.

Her father has suggested that she should live with him for the next school year as she doesn't misbehave as badly when she is with him.

I have told her many times that if she keeps hurting others or swearing she will live have to move in with her father.

My family said that she will resent me for this but I feel like this is the best thing for her right now.

What would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

Sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time.

Behaviour is learned through consequences so it is how her behavior is being addressed, and committing to what is said, but any form of punishment should be avoided.

You can try be setting clear, basic rules, which if she follows, she is rewarded. As this behaviour can be quite intenese, you will want to give her rewards as often as possible for following the rules whether this is hourly, or daily - you will need the school to be onboard with this programme to ensure consistency - and over time, as progress develops, the boundaries for reward are slowly increased.

Also, you should ask what she would like as a reward, never assume, there is a different between something people like, and something people find rewarding. Basically, you want to find something more motivating to her than engaging in these challenging behaviours.

It can be a very complex process and identifying the reason she is engaging in such behaviours can be important to overcoming such challenges. I am in the process of offering free - no strings attached - behaviour guidance if you would like to learn more.