18 month old won't stop whinging

[mommyandmore]

I'm at a complete loss. Ever since my LO was born she's been irritable and fussy. She had colic, reflux and was a very clingy baby who would scream when anyone else held her. She does not like the company of other adults and can become overwhelmed easily.

Now at 18 months her behaviour still is easily annoyed/agitated. I went away with some friends recently and she literally cried the whole 2 days screaming and fussing at every point. She is teething but when I put Miss Rachel on for her she completely changed! She didn't cry, whinge etc and actually has a big smile on her face so it makes me feel that this is a behaviour problem and not that she is in pain/discomfort.
It has got to a point where her behaviour is really effecting me and how I see her. I love her dearly but if I'm honest, I don't like her at the moment. She is extremely high maintenance and the crying/whinging I can't take much longer! We don't have much family help and support but she is with a CM 5 days a week.

Her CM we've used for 9 months and I've never been quite sure to be honest. She's very scatty and the communication hasn't been great. I know my daughter isn't thriving in her care. She still gets upset in the mornings during drop off and she's not doing things I'd expect such as sensory play, baking etc My DH and I have agreed to change CM but we need to give our current CM 2 months notice and then we are away all summer. I'm wondering if my daughter's behaviour is down to the CM we have picked. After all she is with her for 50 hours a week. I don't know what her routine is nor if she's even in one and if this is contributing to her behaviour or if this is just her?
I'm wondering if it's worth pulling her out of her CM early and getting an emergency nanny for the 7 weeks we have left or sucking it up and continuing until we go away for the summer.

I'd love some advice. I'm really struggling and really want to do what is best for my little girl.
TIA! X

It could be the CM but if she's always been clingy and gets overwhelmed, personally I'd want to rule out a couple of things before swapping Childcare but that also depends on how deadly it would be to get a Nanny for such short term.

Did they ever find out what was causing the colic/reflux? Does she have any allergies? Sometimes keeping a food diary can help. Has Tongue Tie been ruled out too?

How's her Speech and Language? I think I would do this simple SLT progress checker just to see if she's on track with her speech and understanding.

How did she do on her 12 month check?

Thanks for the reply! So we did find out she has CMPA. She has oat milk as her drink and we have introduced dairy slightly in cooking which she is fine with. We did an allergy test for her and the rest came up okay.

Her speech is coming - now knows around 12 words. I must admit she can forget to speak and use these words. I'm trying to model what she can say when she is upset.

All okay at the 12 month check.

Are you under a Paediatric Dietician? Sometimes if I have Dairy the main symptom can be that I'm really cranky and it can last for two weeks!

And how did she do on the progress checker?

The progress checker indicated she may need some speech and language. I do think her speech has been a bit slow and the CM says she doesn't speak for her which doesn't help!
I will definitely look at this.

I don't think it's a dairy thing tbh. She had a slice of pizza today and I carefully monitored her and she was actually in good form for the remainder of the day.

Who knows with these children!!

If she needs some SLT I'd ask the HV to also refer her for a hearing test as the SLT will want her to have had glue ear ruled out.

I'd also fill in the 18 month Ages & Stages and the 18 month Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and ask your HV to score them. You can of course score them yourself. I'd do those just to check she's still on track after her 12 month check

How was she last night after the Pizza? Hip wing she's still ok?