Friends,

[CarolDees]

I'd love to ask mothers here if, when they had their child or children, if their relationships with other female friends who didn't have kids changed, this has happened to me

Yes it can. I think it very much depends on how old you are though and how long those friends have been around.

Have you managed to meet any new Mums since having your LO?

It does change- I am sure it is age dependent too (I'm in my 40s at this point, got pregnant at 38 so relatively late). Nevertheless my life is far away from regular brunches, dinners, cinema trips, city breaks, spontaneous BBQs that end at 3am etc. Don't get me wrong, all of it is still possible and does happen (we only have one child) but it may be time restricted (home by 11 or so ideally) and more than 2 nights away is a stretch (for me more so than anyone else :-) ). I have become a lot 'stricter' with my time and who I spend time with in this precious 'me' time. I already knew a few of my friends were higher maintenance and highly self-centered but I used to not mind. Now, I see I have naturally pulled back from them and focused on fewer friends, but the ones where I feel it is more of a genuine friendship than the others where my role used to be the audience or sounding board. It takes effort I cannot/am unwilling to give. Overall, there is just less time and that had an impact on friendships that I used to put more time and effort in. At the same time, I noticed that friends that had kids before me (and I was the single/not child having friend) are now closer again as I am now fully able to have disjointed conversations- talking for 5min (break to stop toddler from certain death, dealing w the tantrum) back to the conversations as if the 15min interruption never happened. What is your experience? Does this relate to what you have observed?

Yes, I guess my limited time has had an impact on how I decide to spend it. I think I might not 'relate' perhaps to my friends who don't have kids now, that is what I worry about. Like its not as natural a conversation as it is with the mums i meet, I feel a bit awkward but I like my new Mum friends. Sorry i am new to Mumsnet so I haven't logged in for a bit.

I do notice a difference, but i haven't yet talked about it much, so wanted to here.