Right. That's it. I have had it with my children. I can do nothing for them anymore. I am exhaustred. DP returns from work at 6 15. I am going to walk out and not come back,.

[SheikYerbouti]

I cannot copw itrh the constant bickering, the destructiveness, the fact that neither of them will sit still for more thn a second, the getting up in the night constantly, the shouting, the hitting, the snatching, the insolenbce

I've had a about enpoygfh of this shitty existence. I have no time to myself, because if I am no6 with the children, I am at work (a situation that can't be changed either)

I am constantly shouting at them, I feel so much anger inside me, and it scares me. I am scared I will go too far one day and do something awful.

DS1 has pissed on the floor for the nt5h time today. I have justy blown my top and SCREAMED at them. It's constant drip-drip of irritation, like Chinese water tiorure. I can't cope with thewm anymore.

LOL at your calming links

and the other is 'forbidden' [oo-er!]

Poor you Sheik. I know how you feel, they're bloody hard work at this age - you can't reason with them and they like breaking things for fun - I was complaining about my dd yesterday and her new found delight in destruction and mayhem. It is hard - patience isn't easy when it's 24/7 and all down to you to sort. I planned to go to London with both girls tomorrow and today spent the day breaking up fights and picking up crusts from the bottom of toy boxes and wondered if I've actually got the mental energy to get on a train with both of them.

Hope you get a bit of time to yourself and can unwind and relax tonight.

right.
books all packaged up and stuck with stamps and ready to post in just a mo, so panic not! help is on the way

they are annoyingly american but only amusingly so, and surprisingly effective i have found. have gotten me out of a parenting hole or two... at the very least it gives ideas of something else to say when all you have left up your sleeve is death and destruction and we all know we cant really go there...

sheik - I feel exactly like you most days tbh and I know how exhausting dc's of this age can be believe me ... that's why their bedtime is 6:30 But I am sitting here now with my glass of wine and thinking how cute they can be aswell, it helps me prepare for tomorrow - I have no words of advice I amfraid just sympathy, understanding and the hope that this is just a stage

sheik is this you at work? (best bit 20 secs in )

I feel for you.
I was a super mum to my lovely cuddly baby and a really shitty mum to my tiny tot/toddler.
Oh God it used to drive me mad!
I HAD to have a break, it is relentless, no breaks at all once the daytime naps finished.
Now she is 4 and lovely and chatty and we have a great time (although still very tiring). So things will get better.

Can you get a playgroup or something, or take them to the park/soft play area and run them till they drop?

Talk to DH and see if you can arrange a strategy to approach this or ask him to take a day off work soon so you can go to a massage or something while he looks after them.

If it all goes belly up for us, I:

either put everyone in the car and drive,

or everyone in the buggy / strapped on chest and go for a walk.

Then get kids to have running races.

Or go buy ready food / sandwiches and sit in park on a blanket / strapped in buggy.

I've been there. It is tough. But it does get better, I promise.

Sorry you had a crap day. I certainly feel like this sometimes. I only have one child and he's only 7 months and I seriously doubt I could cope with anymore. I want to be a good mum....... I try to be a good mum. I usually end up failing and having to walk away before I loose my mind!

I has to get easier eventually, surely!

Have no advice, just wanted to sympathise and make sure you don't feel guilty for feeling this way. We all feel shit sometimes and somedays I wonder if I was cut out to be a mum. After a day like today, i'd say probably not but it's too late!

Sheik - we chatted once ages ago - and I know you live near me and our ds1s are the same age. Want me to take them off your hands for a bit - well one of them anyway? Is your ds1 at pre school? Do you get a break at all?

Been there many a time just now is really bad as I have SPD am pregnant again mad cow that I am sometimes but climbing the stairs for the 50th bloody time in as many minutes drives me mad nevermind is bloody painful.

Some days all I feel I do is clean mess, shout and referee, when DP gets in I could collapse.

Do you have a garden? Old clothes pair of wellies on let them run wild, watch them from kitchen window with cup of tea and chocolate.

When my DP gets in I go upstairs for half an hour at least have a shower or bath and read the paper, it saves my sanity.

How are you this morning Sheik?

How are you today Sheik?

I really felt for you when I saw your OP. In fact I think

"Right. That's it. I have had it with my children. I can do nothing for them anymore. I am exhaustred. I am going to walk out and not come back"

should be in the topic list.

I love mine to bits but sheesh some days I could string them up by the ankles and hang them from the coat hooks.

I find separating them hugely helpful - let one of them do something really messy alone - playdough, paint - sod consequences - and compensate the other with your attention.

I'm not hugely maternal but I've found pretending to be useful - try these

Put them both in a bath full of bubbles and put 5 random items on the side. tell them to close eyes. chuck in 4. get them to find 4 objects under the bubbles and try and remember what the 5th was. repeat.

make big fuzzy felts. Get some rubbish old clothes and cut out big shapes - squares, circles etc and give them a sheet each to make pictures on.

make smell pots. put stinky stuff (orange peel, washing powder tablet, cloves, soap, vinegar on a bit of tissue) in yoghurt pots and put bits of fabric over the top with an elastic band. get them to help you make them. get them to guess whats inside by smelling it.

Teach them to make towers with the flung books.

go on a nature walk - get them to each find a leaf, a stick a stone a feather. Stick them to paper when you get home, give to daddy.

sew buttons to a bit of material - provide wool. Get them to wind wool around buttons to make shapes/pictures

play will it float, will it sink. assemble objects, guess if they will sink in a bowl of water.

Hope you feel better soon. Its exhausting and draining and it spirals down. Summer is coming - life in open spaces is sooooooooooooo much easier....

Oh Sheik I'm so sorry you feel so low. Hope you're feeling better this morning.

I admire anyone who deals with more than one child. I struggle with my singleton sometimes.

I think time to yourself is essential and it sounds to me as though you don't get that. You need to sit dp/dh down and insist on a couple of hours away from home/work a couple of times a week. Not that I do that myself mind you - I'm very good at doling advice out but not taking it.

Yours are at a REALLY REALLY bad age

I have noticed in the last few months (now have a 5 y.o. and 2.5 y.o.) that I have TOTALLY changed and become 100X much calmer

In fact I am REALLY calm, it is weird, I am all WARM with the children

It is definitely because THEY are getting older though and much much easier to deal with

In my house they have to sit in front of the telly while I drink a gin and tonic at 5pm which helps a bit

This is my Routine

Oh and when things got really bad I would occasionally set the timer for 10 minutes and be Perfect Mummy just for 10 minutes, doing whatever they wanted, cuddles, calm calm calm, no raised voices, JUST FOR TEN MINUTES

Of course I had to repress my burning rage inside but only for 10 minutes and then I would allow myself to return to normal Incredible Hulk Mummy

Usually the worst of the storm had passed by then

And I would console myself at the end of the day knowing that I'd been really good and not shouty for 10 minutes

I agree with your chinese water torture description

I have 22 months between mine and at that age - OMG - I wanted to run away all the time

It does improve, honestly.

Mine are now 5 and 3 and I only shout occasionally

however the mess and constant clearing up of crap still annoys

and my two do not leave me alone to play, need constant attention which drives me mad

How are you today?

I also do not have any time to myself, I am either at work or at home clearing up crap

the only time nobody wants a peace of me is on the bus to work and then I have some tosser behind me with his mobile phone blasting out R Kelly or some shite

Sheik - I totally empathise. Mine are similar ages to yours. I was never meant to have children, I never wanted them until I met DH. Mostly I know (and you do too really) that I am a good mom. They are just 'at that age'. Things I have to contend with on a daily basis
DD1 & DD2 having almighty fights over a toy that there are bloody well 2 of anyway?!?!?
Tipping juice all over the floor (me and DH have had to spend an entire w/e laying laminate as they had totalled the carpet.
Ripping every single book into shreds (alledgedly making a jumper?!?)
DD2 Not sleeping through the night every night (1 in 3)
Waking up in the morning earlier and earlier.
The shout of "I want peppa pig/a biscuit/a drink etc"
Standing on sofa backs etc
Ripping the speakers off the tv
DD2 having a total breakdown at dinner time and refusing to eat for 2 days then hoovering up every item in the fridge for a day etc
Cleaning the windows/tv with a baby wipe
Trying to climb over the stair gate
Demanding a bath/shower every hour
Things I have had in the past (which ended in a severe bollocking from me)
dd1 pooing on bedroom floor (not an accident she is fully trained and had taken off her nap time nappy in preperation!!) Then throwing afore mentioned poo into sisters cot and keeping some back to smear on tables, drawers, bed, wall, blinds. DD2 doing same in cot/all over face etc!!
Biting (anything that stayed still long enough)
I don't have any real advice other than, just try not to kill them (as I try not to) chill out in the evening with whatever your poison is and think tomorrow is another day. Try new things with them all the time, see if anything makes a difference. Now the weather is brightening up I know I can at least chuck them out into the garden soon!!

Feeling a bit better today

Yestarday was utterly dreadful.

I dranks lots of wine last night and felt better by 10pm, when I passed out on the settee.

Today, I have decided not to be Joan Crawford, and I plan not to shout at them all afternoon. They are actually sat beautifully at the mo, DS1 is watching TV and DS2 is sat looking through the Argos catalogue. I am hoping they will bioth sleep, but I am not holding mty breath.

Thank you for letting me swear yesterday, it saves me calling them, little shits or some such.

Glad you are feeling a little better Sheik.

Never mind shoes 'n' slebs. This is what MN is really about.

Glad today is a bit better.

pleased today is better

Btw Bimlin? Does your DS1 go to PPP?

I can only echo what other people have said: mine are now 4 and 6 and it is a massive improvement.

I know that it is not a huge help, but the following mantra is quite comforting to know: it really does not get any worse than this.

I definitely wish someone had told me that at the time.