Hi. Really hope someone can help me but I don't know if anyone has been in this situation.
My eldest boy just turned 2 and I recently gave birth to another boy who's currently 6 weeks old.
When my eldest was born I was the typical excited first time mum and spent every waking hour with him. We did baby led weaning and he was great at eating everything, using utensils drinking from a cup and straw cup etc and was hitting all his milestones.
I returned back to work full time just before he turned one and my mum did all the childcare so I probably didn't spend as much time with him as previously. I found out I was pregnant again with my second 3/4 months later and really struggled with the second pregnancy due to having issues in marriage which left me depressed for a good few months.
During this time I feel that my 2 year old didn't get the same level of attention I was giving when I was on maternity leave. And when I was heavily pregnant towards the end I felt I wasn't the best mum I could be as I was always tired, sad, having domestics with my partner which left me crying myself to sleep most nights.
Presently, He no longer wants to eat food, i have tried every meal I can think of but he only eats when he's really starving normally in the evening and that's if we spoon feed. He cannot sleep without a bottle of milk for his nap and sometimes he can have 16 ounces (2 bottles of milk) before he finally knocks out. The night he keeps crying and won't sleep and sometimes he will throw up as he just doesn't realise his tummy is too full.
Even when he wasn't eating I'd think oh well he's had milk so will be getting some form of nutrition. My issue is he's now at nursery for 2 full days a week and they will not give him a bottle. Only a cup and he refuses this. So he cries all day at nursery as he doesn't eat and must be starving. He hasn't settled at all and my heart breaks thinking he isn't getting fed. I've spoken to them to see if they'd just give him a bottle for nap time but they've said they can't accommodate this.
I don't know if having a sibling has left him emotional but is it too late to teach him how to use utensils again and eat himself and also drop the bottles of milk. I have asked gp to refer us to speech therapy as he doesn't communicate/speak and we are also currently on nhs waiting list to test for autism (currently saving to pay privately as was told it's over a year wait) as he has shown some signs but other then that he is a happy smily boy. Who plays football with his dad. Laughs plays etc.
Am I being paranoid. He's a good weight for his height and we do have some foods he will eat without issues but he refuses everything at nursery. He is the first child in my family for 20years. So he hasn't really played with lots of other kids bar play dates once or twice a month and my friends with kids similar ages don't have these issues. I'm just so lost as feel like I'm failing him.
I guess my biggest concern is how do I stop or reduce his milk intake as I feel this fills him up hence his refusal for food.